Countering an age-change lie
OUR story about the old Glasgow housing office in High Street reminds Willie Dickie in East Kilbride of working there as a teenager and being put on the public counter. Says Willie: “One of my first applicants was a wee Glasgow woman who said her husband couldn’t be with her as he was 62. Yet the application form filled in a year earlier said he was 48. With that confident exuberance of youth I laid bare her deception.
“The exchanges became increasingly confusing until eventually her eyes lit up and she said pityingly, ‘Oh son, that’s not his age, that’s his shift’.”
Ghost of Christmas pantomime
TALES from the pantomime should not forget the many local productions being staged. Donald Barr in Newtonmore in the Highlands tells us: “It had been a good shinty season for Newtonmore. They had won the league and the Camanachd and MacTavish cups.
“Biggest cheer of the night at the village panto came when the ghost threatened Scrooge with a fate worse than death. He would have to wear the strip of nearby, rather less successful, Kingussie, for the rest of his days.”
Chocs away
GETTING into the Christmas spirit is comedian Sarah Millican who observed: “According to our chocolate Advent calendar, there are only three days to Christmas.”
Engineer got an early quiz break
THE Diary story about TV quiz show University Challenge reminds Jim Morrison: “Sitting at our evening meal on a Sealink ferry in Larne, Northern Ireland, in the eighties, we were surprised when Donald, our third engineer, answered question after question correctly when University Challenge came on BBC Northern Ireland. “Donald, your knowledge is amazing,” I told him. “No really,” said Donald. “I watched it on BBC Scotland when I was hame last night.”
Just four left for the record
NOW here’s a piece of pop trivia for music fans to mull over. Says Dashiell Bennett, after the death of astronaut John Glenn: “With Fidel Castro and John Glenn gone, there are only four individuals named in Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire who are still alive.”
Facing up to festive humour
OFFICE party stories reminds us of the yarn in the just published in time for Christmas, Herald Diary compilation now in bookshops, about the girl who arrived at her office party after a session in the tanning salon, and worried that the goggles had left a white ring around her eyes. “Do I look like a clown?” she asked her pal. “Put it this way Sophie,” her pal replied, “Ah wouldnae be surprised if weans start asking’ ye fur balloons.”
Win Champagne dinner for two
CHRISTMAS competition time! Thanks to Alan Tomkins for the generous offer of a Champagne dinner for two at Urban Bar and Brasserie in St Vincent Street, Glasgow, for the winner. We thought we would bring back our popular film title contest, only this time you have to subtract one letter from a film title to make a more interesting film. Ones with a Scottish connection will be preferred.
Our suggestions are: Lord of the Rigs – about the top overtime earner in the North Sea. Casio Royale – Prince Harry brags about his electronic calculator. Tar Wars – two teams of Irish workers compete to do up your driveway.
But we know you can do better...
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article