Do you know who I am?
AH, the glamour of showbiz. Brian Limond, the creator of the very funny sketch show Limmy’s Show, tells of a recent conversation. Says Brian: 
“Guy recognised me the other day. 
He said, ‘Burnistoun?’ I said, ‘Naw, the other one’. He said, ‘Lenny’s Show’. ‘Limmy’s, aye’ I replied. ‘You’re a legend’, he said.”

Don’t Adam and Eve it
STV reporter Mike Edwards was hosting the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation carol service at Glasgow City Chambers when he was told two children from the school choir, Adam and Eve, would help him switch on the Christmas tree lights.
He was impressed the organisers had found such aptly named youngsters but when he called for Adam and Eve to come forward no one moved, even when he repeated their names and said they shouldn’t be shy.
Eventually Mike looked down at a hastily scribbled note from an organiser which read “Abi and Neve”. Mike blames his mis-hearing on gunfire during his time with the TA in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Testing times
WE feel the pain of the Glasgow chap who told his pals on social media: “Done my driving test that many times I’ll be at the DVLA Christmas night oot, man.”

Fulminating
READER Ian Forrest looks at the headline on David Torrance’s column in yesterday’s Herald “Why Sturgeon is wrong to refuse to utter the F-word” and thinks: “To be fair, she probably does every time she reads his column.”

Kept on her toes
THE Herald’s archive picture of singer Glen Daly holding up some large fish reminds Jim Murray in Jordanhill of being the driver of the Rolls-Royce hired that day to take Glen and wife Ella around a number of shops as part of an Evening Times feature.
Says Jim: “The back of the car had a lovely lambs’ wool mat, and every time Ella got back in she would kick her shoes off, rub her toes in the mat and declare, ‘My feet are killing me’.”

Granny’s good intentions
NOTICED teenage girls’ fashion trends these days? A Glasgow girl told her friends last week: “My cousin took her washing up to my gran’s for her to do. When she went back to pick it up, gran had sewn her ripped jeans up. I’m crying with laughter.”

Pillow talk
GROWING old continued. Says James Thomson in Jordanhill: “I noted another sign of growing old this week. Watching a film with my wife we got to the bit where the lead male is taking the leading lady to bed.  Just as he lay her down ahead of some amorous moves 
I said, ‘Oh, that looks like a very comfy pillow.  I wonder where they got that?’”

Excess baggage
TODAY’S piece of whimsy comes from Simon Caine, who says: “I always pack my running shoes when I go on holiday because I like to lie to myself.”

Bogie nights
THE Christmas competition is to remove one letter from a film title to make a more interesting movie, with the prize of a Champagne dinner donated by the Urban Bar and Brasserie in St Vincent Street, Glasgow.
Today’s suggestions:
l Whisk Galore – starring Mary Berry. (Isabel McLeod)
l Bogie Nights – the story of Cinderella’s wee pal Sneezy with a cold. (Andy Cameron)
l One With the Wind – my dog! (Mary Duncan)
l Gone With The Win – Clydebank syndicate ticket holder does a runner.