The Baltic nations
IT was the coldest day of the winter so far in Glasgow yesterday. Or as one local put it: “I can confirm that the weather in Glasgow has changed from ‘Baltic’ to ‘pure Baltic’.”
Dead giveaway
SOMEHOW we got on to leaving bodies for medical research. As
John Henderson tells us: “I made arrangements years ago for my body to be left to medical science – the only problem was explaining this to the rest of my devout Church of Scotland family, especially my parents. I explained this was a good thing, as I would be the first member of the family to successfully get into medical school.”
He stooped so low
GETTING old continued. Says Bill Nelson: “Never mind forgetting things. As I get older – I’m 91 – when stooping to pick things up, the ground gets further away!”
And as Ian Noble says: “I often go racing and years ago I used binoculars to watch the action but, with the introduction of big screens at the courses, I left the binoculars at home and watched the racing on the screen. Now I am back to using the binoculars ... to see the big screen.”
Taking the plunge
OUR American music contact Mike Ritchie tells us: “American musician, Dan Stuart, is never less than laconic. He posted on Facebook ‘My New Year’s resolutions are to bathe regularly and look for a girlfriend. Dunno, maybe one is related to the other’.”
Larger than life
A PIECE of whimsy from a south side reader who tells us: “Saying, ‘Oh my goodness, you’re getting so big!’ is cute and acceptable to say to a six-year-old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.”
Losing that loving feeling
THE manager merry-go-round continues with English Premier League strugglers Hull City sacking head coach Mike Phelan, and youth coach Peter Ndlovu. Already Swansea fans who face them on Saturday are saying they will be borrowing from the Righteous Brothers and will be singing: “You’ve lost Ndlovu and Phelan, whoa Ndlovu and Phelan.”
Any other good chants that fans have heard recently?
Working it out
STILL getting used to being back at work? As Simon Caine put it: “I’ve not been into the office for over two weeks. My boss should be happy I remembered where the office is, let alone what I do.
“Now, does anyone know my password?”
As he famously put it
A HILLHEAD reader heard a student on Byres Road tell his pal: “I suppose like many people I used to daydream about being famous. But after what happened to famous people last year I’m quite happy to just be ordinary.”
Getting to the bottom of it
A LIMITED edition bottle of whisky signed by Donald Trump is being sold by auctioneers McTear’s in Glasgow next week, and could fetch more than £2,000 although nobody really knows what it will fetch. Anyway, we liked the comment in the New York Times on Trump’s tentative plans to dismantle President Obama’s healthcare when he takes over. Said the Times: “The Trump approach would be like trying to amputate a dog’s rear end so you wouldn’t have to clean up its messes. It just doesn’t work that way.”
Out-of-bounds surely
I REALLY thought I was looking busy, but no, a colleague interrupted and felt the need to tell me: “The wife served me my dinner last night. I’ve been cleaning mashed potato out the racquet strings all morning.”
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