Hard to stomach

READERS continue to help us with stories about the old Western Infirmary. Says Fiona Black: “My sister was a student nurse in the Western in the 1950s when she had suspected appendicitis. An eminent surgeon came to examine her and she blurted out that they had had a lecture on the appendix, and she didn’t think the pain was in the right place. ‘Indeed,’ he said courteously, and pressed an immaculately manicured finger on the spot. When she had stopped screaming he patted her hand and said kindly, ‘and that, nurse, is why I earn approximately 10 times as much as you’.”

Not in the pink

AND our tales of porters performing crude triage reminds Stewart McCormick: “I was a junior house officer in the Western in 1968. While the porters generally managed to send punters appearing at the front desk to the correct department, on one occasion I was sent, as the receiving surgeon, a young man with severe abdominal pain. It took me only a few seconds to discover that his pain was in fact due to severe sunburn as he had spent several hours lying with his ‘tap aff’ in Kelvingrove Park.”

The domino effect

PLANS have been submitted to knock down the Old College Bar on Glasgow’s High Street and build yet another humdrum block of student flats. We recall when a group of Celtic players called in briefly to chat to the old regulars, with a couple of players accepting an invitation to sit down and have a game of dominoes.

We like the way such simple stories grow arms and legs as a few days later a tabloid reporter arrived and asked the barman: “So, is it true what they say?

Is Chris Sutton really a member of the domino team here?’’

On the money

GROWING old continued. John Mulholland popped into a Sauchiehall Street newsagent’s for a bar of chocolate, and when asked how much, was told: “It depends.” When he asked for clarification, he was told again: “It depends.” So, none the wiser, John handed over a pound coin.

It was when he was given 20p change he realised he was simply told “eighty pence,” and he is now booking a hearing test.

Shaping up

A HYNDLAND reader tells us: “Fifteen years ago I won a prize in the university’s debating team. Who knew I would use these skills to try to convince my seven-year-old that the shape of the pasta doesn’t change its taste.”

Cop that

THE Herald’s archive picture of the busy fruitmarket in Albion Street reminds Gilbert McKay of cycling through the market on his way to his teaching job in Townhead.

He was stopped one morning by a police officer, a member of the police pipe band, who said: “We need more youngsters in the force, and the band’s short of pipers.” I could be wrong, but I think the recruitment process is a bit more complicated these days.

The price of DIY READER Alan Brown spots an Ikea wardrobe on sale on the Gumtree website that he thought was quite expensive, until he read the seller’s description: “As new. Can be bought for similar price brand new, but we have spent three hours assembling it.”