That’s charming!
Street traders continued. Singer Jimmie Macgregor recalls a visit to Glasgow’s Barras: “There was a gent selling a complicated metal contraption, claiming that you could not fail to charm your companion 
as you glided around the dance floor, by singing a romantic ballad through the kazoo which was attached to your nose.
“Never really worked for me.”

An upper cut
First world problems. John Morrison passes on the latest from the BBC, which reports: “Avocados should carry warning labels following a rise in knife injuries from cutting into the fruit, a doctor has warned. 
     Leading plastic surgeon Simon Eccles has said he treats about four patients a week at Chelsea and Westminster hospital for such wounds, with staff dubbing the injury, ‘avocado hand’.”
More of a problem in Chelsea than Wishaw General, we suspect.

A clear case
More views on parenting, as a Jordanhill teacher tells us: “My children are very optimistic – every glass they leave lying around the house is half full.”

Neigh chance
Police Scotland took to social media to ask the public to vote on the name for their new police horse – a grey draught horse from Ireland. As their horses have Scottish place names, the four names to choose from were Melrose, Clarkston, Glencoe and Tiree – Glencoe won. But we liked the thinking process of one member of the public, Martin Gray, who replied to Police Scotland: “Not Melrose, because they always beat us at Sevens. Not Glencoe because of the Campbells. And not Clarkston because I canna stand the bloke and all that Top Gear rubbish. So it’s got to be Tiree.”

Sound advice
Our tales of pipe bands remind Gordon Casely of being a member 
of the Glasgow Transport Pipe Band which was playing on an open-top bus in Manchester in a procession of transport through the ages. Says Gordon: “We drove the 16-mile route at eight miles an hour. The 
pipe-major ordered the set Scotland The Brave and Rowan Tree, and 
we played those never-endingly throughout an interminable two hours.
“The pipey explained later, ‘We were passing at eight miles an 
hour, so no-one would hear us repeat them’.”

Guilt edged
We mentioned court stories and reader John Hart swears to us that a witness in a bank robbery claimed she could identify an accused as it had been a hot day and they had removed their masks at one stage. One of the accused was heard muttering: “That’s a lie. Never took them off.”

A bit ropey
Bad pun alert! After The Herald archive picture about the ropeworks in Port Glasgow, Jim Morrison recalled as a youngster visiting a ropeworks in Ibrox when he worked for ferry company CalMac. He then felt the need to add: “I was told about the school leaver who got a job at the Ibrox ropeworks, but he didn’t last very long – he was caught skipping out early one afternoon.”