OUR mention of the late, great comedian Lex McLean reminds entertainer Andy Cameron: "In the early sixties I was in Green's Playhouse at a Rangers Rally when Lex and Rangers right-back Bobby Shearer stopped next to my seat to shoot the breeze. A wee Glasgow wummin demanded of Bobby, 'Hey you, lift up your trouser legs'. He asked why and the wee wummin, who had, it's fair to say, imbibed somewhat, explained, 'Every time ma man comes in wi' a drink in him, he says ah've got legs like Bobby Shearer, an' ah want tae see whit they look like'."

GOOD news! The Lobey Dosser statue, paid for by Herald readers to mark the genius of Dosser creator Bud Neill, has been returned to its plinth on Woodlands Road after some much-need repairs by Glasgow Council. I remember my old colleague Jack Webster once recounting that Bud Neill lived beside a cemetery - so called his house Dim View. At that time he worked from a converted post office outside Dunfermline where he was occasionally bothered by folk peering in. So he put up a blind in the window, and on a whim put a poster on the outside of the blind on which he had written "Budgies repaired Saturdays".

THE tale of Ayrshire PE teacher Jock McClure's obsession with misbehaving pupils, reminds Matt Vallance: "When 'Stiffy' McClure was at Cumnock Academy he once jumped out of a classroom window - it was at least a 10-foot drop - to capture and break-up a pontoon school.

"The jump was nothing to Stiffy. During the war he had been a Commando instructor."

SEEMINGLY there is an election this week. An expat in Hull tells us that the LibDem candidate is Mike Ross and muses: "I was disappointed that his election leaflet didn't take advantage of his name and ask for 'My cross for Mike Ross'."

THINGS you did at school but never since, continued. Says Janet Guthrie: "Just after the war at primary school - nearly finishing eating an apple and asking if anyone would like 'the stumps' to eat."

A READER notices the advertisement in The Herald for The Spirit of Skye Festival later this month and reads that the programme includes: "Whisky distillers, award winning brewers, gin crafters and axe throwing." Says our reader: "So nothing to worry about there then."

JOHN Mulholand was visting Kelvingrove Art Gallery where he noticed that rubber giant spiders, called "Creepy Creatures" are being sold with the slogan "Their scary!" printed on the packet. John idly asked staff if it was the creatures that were scary or the spelling.

Good on the management at Kelvingrove, obviously concerned about teaching children bad grammar, who have now told John that they will withdraw them from sale until the manufacturers know their their from their they're.