Initial thoughts on DUP deal
CONTROVERSY is stirred, to no-one’s lasting surprise, by Theresa May’s £1 billion “bung” for Northern Ireland in her deal with the DUP. One Twitter user, Leanne, posts the following message: “I used to look at my payslip and wonder what NI contributions meant. Now I know!”
No ‘F’ in sweet-talking
READER Sean McCrory dropped by the Scotland’s Larder Live event at the Royal Highland Show at Ingliston last weekend and got talking to staff at the Baxter’s stand. who were promoting something he’d never heard of - the Ecclefechan Tart.
As they explained how it was made, Sean fell into conversation with a middle-aged couple who were actually from Ecclefechan. The woman told him that, yes, the tart certainly existed, but it caused the occasional problem with the town bakers.
Ecclefechan is shortened to ‘Fechan by many locals. Which is why some of them have been known to approach the counter and ask for a ‘Fechan tart.
One way or another
DOUGLAS Hutchison says: “Yesterday’s story about the Welsh barman telling a tourist that taking the car was the quickest way to Brecon reminds me of a trip to Ireland.
“I asked the hotel concierge how far it was to Bunratty Castle.
“’It’s about eight miles, Sir”, he told me. ‘No, no, no’, interrupted his assistant. ‘It’s not that far at all. It’s dual carriageway all the way.’”
Trebles all round
OLD Firm News. John Mulholland says Rangers chairman Dave King is a bit late in coming up with the notion that Celtic’s league trophies during Rangers’ absence from the Scottish Premier League don’t count. Celtic obviously knew about this unwritten rule - and thus waited patiently until Rangers returned to the SPL before winning an historic Treble, adds John.
Refined tastes
FINDING it difficult to shake off your addictions or bad habits? Rest assured you are not alone. Witness this plaintive tweet from Belle & Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch: “So far I’ve given up booze, dairy, red meat, football, the thought of other partners, running. Why can’t I give up sugar?!”
You know you’re getting old
WHEN ... you call the radio a wireless
.. you have a small box of cotton hankies bearing your initial, still unopened in a drawer.
... you still write letters to friends in cursive handwriting (all Amy Kinnaird)
... you notice grey hairs on your son’s head (Moira Campbell)
... the younger lady you’re trying to hit on tells you that you’re not so much hip as hip-replacement (John B. Henderson).
William Hogg, writing on HeraldScotland, laments: “As someone born in 1960, I knew I was old when I switched on my car radio and it was the Ramones, the seminal band of my punk years.
“On Radio 2.”
Sage and sound
AND still we can’t leave Elton John’s Airdrie show alone. Lanarkshire Police Division’s Facebook page has been fielding messages from fans praising the policing of the event.
A typo results in one post reading: “Thanks for keeping us sage x”. To which the cops reply: “Wow - didn’t realise we could make people profoundly wise”.
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