Cup runneth over

LOTS of gloating down Motherwell way after brushing aside Rangers in the League Cup semi-final. As radio broadcaster and Celtic fan Dominik Diamond remarked: "Really hoped to get the easy wee unfashionable team in the League Cup final.

"But we just have to settle for Motherwell instead."

And you can feel the pain of Rangers fan Cammy Laidlaw who took to social media to explain: "Being a Rangers fan is actually like being a junkie now. Ye can't stop yourself going back to it even though it does you so much harm."

Hats off

A POINT to ponder from Kiera Docherty who muses on the traffic cone atop the statue of the Duke of Wellington in Glasgow and declares: "Dear Glasgow, you did not invent 'putting a traffic cone on a statue's head', you just invented 'not taking it off again'."

Bit of a drag

IT'S almost the law that you have to wind up your sister. A Glasgow reader was in his local when he heard a chap telling his pals that he had babysat for his sister at the weekend. He told them: "I waited until she had been gone for an hour to some fancy dinner then texted her, 'Remind me, are the kids allowed to smoke in the house?'"

Tasty morsel

OH dear it had to happen - we mentioned STV presenter Bill Tennent and hordes of you reminded us of the infamous story about Bill, so once and for all we should set the record straight. The story is of course that Bill was chatting to celebrity cook Fanny Craddock on his afternoon magazine show when she showed him how to make doughnuts, and he ended the programme with the memorable words: "I hope your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's."

Can I just say that my old chum Tom Shields asked Bill about this before he sadly passed, and Bill told him: "I never actually said that, but as so many people swore blind that they had heard me say it, I long since stopped denying it."

What's in a number

FEARS about our children's general knowledge, continued. A reader tells us that a friend's son posted a picture on social media of him standing outside the Prime Minister's residence in Downing Street. "Did you see the picture of him at the Prime Minister's house?" our reader asked his teenage daughter. "No, just one of him beside a door with a number 10 on it," she replied.

Dennis the menace

A DOCUMENTARY about veteran Labour MP Dennis Skinner is being shown at the Glasgow Film Theatre this week which reminds us of the claim that Dennis once told Parliament that "Half the Tories opposite are crooks." The Speaker told him to withdraw his comment so Dennis stated: "Ok, half the Tories opposite aren't crooks."

Which somehow leads to the harsh comment by reader John Henderson, after the news story that the Tory Party is considering ditching its tree logo and replacing it with a drawing of a ladder: "Fitting for a party with an abundance of snakes in it."

London calling

OUR little sub-set of stories about London districts: Says David Walker: "I visited the Botanic Gardens in London this weekend." "Kew?" "No, I got in straight away."

Didn't have the stomach

STOPPED by a colleague in the office who felt the need to discuss dieting and he tells us: "Did you know that the first three weeks at Slimming World you're just finding your feet."

Bit of a blow

AND groan-of-the-week comes from Tony Cowards who says: "I'm not sure about the BBC's new drama Gunpowder. It's got a terrible plot."