Steaming in Glasgow

OUR tales of fiddling table football machines brings forth a glorious festive story from Ian Craig in Strathaven who writes: "Readers of a certain vintage may remember when a model railway display was built in the concourse of Glasgow Central Station at Christmas time. The display had cash boxes whereupon deposited pennies caused one of the locomotives to run around for a short period. I remember much to my delight as a young child, my father demonstrating that by blowing into the penny slot the same effect was achieved for free.

"It doesn't work on parking meters unfortunately."

Hard to swallow

A SOUTH Side reader tells us that his daughter, now living in London, was visited by a social worker to assess his disabled grand-daughter. "There was a section on parents promoting their daughter's culture and identity and when asked what that meant the social worker said, 'You know, eating food from her cultural background and so on'. My daughter asked if that meant, 'Had she tried haggis and Irn Bru?' which led to a very flustered social worker."

Puppy love

A BEARSDEN reader confesses to us: "I was in the pet shop and spent quite a while reading the contents of their dog food before deciding on which one would be the most nutritional for our new puppy. I then drove off and took the kids to a Macdonald's drive through."

Jungle survivor

FORMER Scottish Labour leader Kezia Dugdale's time on the Australia-based show I'm A Celebrity is already over as not enough viewers voted for her to remain. As stand-up Janey Godley rather caustically put it: "Imagine no even winning a worm-eating competition. Poor Kezia."

End is near

WHO says those in the funeral business don't have a sense of humour? Douglas Orr was playing Dunskey Golf Club at Portpatrick when he noticed that the 18th hole, which is named Journey's End, is sponsored by the local funeral directors.

Pointed remark

AS RANGERS completed their second win against Aberdeen in the Scottish Premiership this season, reader John Henderson heard a punter in the Victoria Bar point out that if Aberdeen manager Derek McInnes does indeed become the Rangers manager then he would have a unique managerial record start - played none, points six.

Jump to it

WE are all trying to make sense of what is happening in Northern Ireland with claims that it will get a special deal on the EU while the DUP insisting it should be the same as the rest of the United Kingdom. We turn to writer Tom Pride who explains: "After being offered its own parachute, the DUP insists Northern Ireland must be allowed to jump out of the EU plane alongside the rest of the UK without one."

Thanks for clearing that up.

Well spotted

HAD to shake my head as a colleague wanders over and tells me: "Just spotted an albino Dalmation. It was the least I could do."

Teething problems

THOSE of you who have done a spot of bathroom cleaning will probably concur with Tara Lyons who asks: "Why does toothpaste drop off your toothbrush so easily, but then turn into a type of thermosetting polymer that's impossible to wash away?"