Tasteful reply
OUR story about breakfast in Glasgow reminds former BBC producer Mike Shaw of the late great folk singer Danny Kyle once telling him about travelling overnight to Glasgow after a gig in the north of England and being desperate for breakfast. Although it was five in the morning Danny spotted a greasy spoon that was open, rushed in, and ordered a full breakfast and a cup of coffee. When the coffee arrived he took a large gulp and smilingly told the waitress it tasted like nectar. "Well if you don't like it, you don't have to drink it," she replied.
We shall overcome
GREAT to see protest singer Joan Baez, well into her seventies, performing at Glasgow's Royal Concert Hall last week. John Neil Munro suggests that her fans are getting on a bit as well as he claims: "There were a lot of old timers out to see the great Joan. I heard a couple of old fellows tried to rush the stage at the Concert Hall when she came on. By the time they reached the stage she was starting her third number."
Hear a pin drop
GROWING old continued. A Pollokshields reader tells us his father kept missing the point at a noisy family gathering at the weekend, and our reader eventually said to him: "You need a hearing aid." His dad rather confirmed his point by looking puzzled and replying: "What would I do with a hand grenade?"
Faking it
MEANWHILE in Edinburgh, David Black tells us: "Hapless souls who responded to an announcement for an Edinburgh University lecture entitled 'Propaganda, social media, and fake news in contemporary politics' were crestfallen to discover that they were themselves apparently the victims of a classic fake news sting. The lecture room was in darkness, and there was no sign of any speakers.
"Turned out it was a lecturers' strike day."
Road to ruin
LATE night in Glasgow and we jump into a taxi and recognise the driver. “Is your brother still driving your taxi during the day?” we ask. “No, I had to sack him,” says our driver. “Why was that?” we ask. “Well despite what experts say, his passengers didn’t like it when he tried to go the extra mile.”
Bit of a doll
TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from a west end reader who emails: "My ex-girlfriend just texted me to warn me that she’s made a voodoo doll of me.
"I think she’s pulling my leg."
Seeing red
A COLLEAGUE comes over claiming there is a piece of news I might be interested in. I sigh, but he continued anyway and told me: "Researchers examining different blood groups have found Type Os make the most spelling mistakes." It did take me a few moments to get it.
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