She took off

GOOD to see sexism being challenged. Sandy Tuckerman recalls: "On a late night flight from London Gatwick, in the days before the flight deck doors were locked and bolted, the announcement was ’ten minutes to landing, wenches on the benches.' The senior flight attended stormed into the cockpit slamming the door behind her. A rather contrite announcement was then made by the captain, ‘I do apologise ladies and gentlemen, what I meant to say was, cabin crew, seats for landing'."

Playing a round

MEANWHILE in America, President Donald Trump went on social media to congratulate golfer Patrick Reed on winning the Masters and praised him for his talent. Leith author Irvine Welsh, who wrote Trainspotting, replied to Donald: "It’s about dedication and hard work as well as talent. Imagine how good he’d be if he spent as much time on the golf course as you."

Shining example

TALKING of golf courses, congratulations to Jane McDonald becoming the first female captain of Kilmalcolm Golf Club. We remember years ago when then Celtic chief executive Terry Cassidy won The Captain's Plate at Kilmalcolm, and Rangers fan Andy Cameron, presenting the prizes, joked that it was the only silverware Cassidy would have seen for a while. Changed days, eh.

And was it not Kilmalcolm Golf Club where so many ageing members had gone through hip and knee replacements that the joke was there was more titanium in the members than there was in their golf bags?

Heads you win

THERE are times you have to agree with author Corinne Sullivan who remarked the other day: "Couple sitting next to each other on the subway, and the woman is talking the man’s ear off about her roommate when the man goes, 'Katie, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go into my head for a bit.' I now have my response to every conversation I want out of for evermore."

Got the wind up

OUR story about telling children to shut doors reminds Christine Smillie: "Years ago I was always having to remind my three young children to close the door behind them to 'keep the draught out'. One of my children always rushed to close the door when I said this, looking quite fearful, but I never thought anything of it until she asked one day, 'What does the draught look like?' Poor child was terrified."

In the hot seat

BUMP into our old pal and colleague Alan Hunter who confides: "I met a chum I hadn't seen for some time and asked him about another friend - which led to a groan. He explained that in his Dunfermline pub he was approached at the bar by the friend I was inquiring about. Knowing of our pal's aversion to anyone sitting at his table, he told him, 'A big fat b****** has just come in and sat on your seat'. Our chum looked back over his shoulder, swivelled back and announced, 'That's my wife'."

Basket case

THE story about being heckled by a drunk in Glasgow reminds Ronnie McLean: "As school kids, we were standing at a bus stop next to a guy who had one of those large wicker baskets used for transporting pigeons, which contained only a large tin bucket. My pal asked him, 'Is that a racing bucket, Mister?' There was a predictable response."

In the study

A COLLEAGUE approaches me with a serious look on his face, only to tell me: "According to a new study, people will believe anything you tell them if it comes from a new study."