"I may not be a Napoleon or a Churchill. But I have every right to decide how my tax money is being squandered. Plenty of people hold my views.”

“We need a bit of showmanship,” says the MEP, Scotland’s sole elected Ukip politician.

“We need publicity. If I have to sprint naked down Clydeside to get more votes I’d do it. We need to get people to see our arguments, hear what we’ve got to say and turn on to us.”

He likens himself to the London mayor and aspirant Prime Minister, Boris Johnson.

But behind Johnson’s clown act, you sense a sly, calculating intelligence at work.

With Coburn, there’s no mask. There’s just more clown.

During our interview he manages to call the disabled “the bottom of society” before hastily correcting himself, advocates fracking without understanding it, struggles to identify Holyrood’s new tax and welfare powers, and says women should only control their own bodies “to a degree” while discussing abortion.

It’s an effort to stop the conversation circling back to his usual schtick - the joy of grammar schools like the one he attended in Glasgow, SNP “authoritarianism”, the establishment and its mania for paying benefits, the media conspiracy against Ukip, and the endless evils of the EU.

He may see himself as a man on a mission, but he’s actually a man on a loop. That said, the polls suggest the anti-immigration party could get its first MSPs in May, Coburn among them.

The Scottish branch may be dysfunctional - it has been in “special measures” for two and half years because of infighting and is effectively run from England - yet the backdrop of the EU referendum and a proportional list system means a Holyrood breakthrough is possible.

“There are 35 per cent of Scots, minimum, who oppose the European Union,” he says.

“If I get any good proportion of that 35 per cent, we’re going to have a lot of candidates in Holyrood. I believe we will get at least four and I think probably seven.”

Nigel Farage will launch the Scottish manifesto on April 7, and the party’s doorstep pitch thereafter will be “jobs, jobs, jobs”, Coburn says, and especially the need for low taxes.

He says Ukip also want more frontline NHS services, a break-up of Police Scotland (a politically driven “disaster” created to hasten the development of a “Euro-gendarmerie”, he reckons), and of course a return to those grammar and technical schools of yore.

God forbid he's ever a teacher in one. In a statement bizarre even by his standards, he told Holyrood magazine last week: “A woman is a man with a womb”.

He claims it was about linguistics, about his preference for words such as businessman not businesswoman, chairman not chairwoman.

“I’m not a biologist. I’m not a scientist. I was taught English by some very fine gentleman, most of whom served in the forces in both world wars. I’m talking linguistically. I’m talking about mankind as a genus. The ascent of man. We’re talking about mankind as a creature.”

But you didn’t say, ‘Linguistically, woman is a variant of man’. You said a woman is a special kind of man with a womb, which is a biological definition.

“Well maybe it is. I’ve no idea. I know what a woman is. I know what a man is. I think it’s petty Marxist all this political correctness. I speak the language I was taught at Glasgow High.”

Aren’t you just talking pish? “Hee hee. The good thing was it got me a lot of publicity.”

Do you say lots of absurd things for publicity? “I wouldn’t say absurd. Interesting and different.”

Talking of men with wombs, abortion is being devolved to Holyrood through the Scotland Act. Is the term limit correct as it stands? “I don’t like abortion period. But it has to happen. The question is, should we have abortion on demand. I don’t believe there should be abortion on demand. I think women have to have control over their bodies to a degree.”

To a degree? “I believe in abortion but I don’t think it should be willy nilly.

What do you think the term limit should be? “I’m not a medical expert.” What is the term limit? “I’m a homosexual. It’s not the first thing on my agenda.” Do you know what it is? “Not entirely.” Twenty weeks? “Couple of months or something, isn’t it?” You think it’s eight weeks? “To be honest with you I don’t know.” It’s 24 weeks (and has been since 1990).

“I think women should have control of their bodies. I believe that. But I think that they shouldn’t just do as they please. We should try and avoid this situation coming about. I think there’s a lot of carelessness. I’m a feminist. I always have been.”

Coburn was elected in 2014 with 10.5 per cent of the vote, more than enough to get an MSP in every region for Holyrood. But that was before voters got a good look at him.

The general election in Scotland was a disaster zone for Ukip. It lost its deposit in every seat. UK-wide, the party’s vote share surged from 3.1 to 12.6 per cent. In Scotland it went from 0.9 to 1.6 per cent. The only seats where Ukip went backwards in the UK were all in Scotland.

Perhaps, as many commentators suspect, the lack of progress is down to Coburn himself.

Do you consider yourself an asset to Ukip in Scotland? “I hope so. I seem to be quite popular. Apparently I’m the only MEP that any Scot can name, which is some sort of achievement.”

You come across as a liability. Would Ukip do better with someone else? “I don’t think so at all. And I don’t think anybody in the party does.”

Are you holding Ukip back in Scotland? “No. I don’t think so at all. I think I’m doing very well for Ukip. I managed to get myself elected and I’m about to get six or seven MSPs.”

You don’t think Ukip would be taken more seriously in Scotland if you were taken more seriously in Scotland? “No, I think that Ukip would be ignored in Scotland if it wasn’t for me.”

You think you’re doing a good job for Ukip? “Yes, I do.” You think this is your calling, that you’re actually doing a good job? “Yes, I do.” You think you’re an articulate spokesperson for Ukip? “Well, seemingly. I seem to get reasonable plaudits when I do the, er, the, er debates.”

Your critics say you’re just an incompetent booby. “Of course they would. They’re my critics.”

Let’s be blunt. You come out with mad stuff like a woman is a kind of man, you don’t know a lot of basic things the Scottish Parliament does. You come across as a busker, as out of your depth, don’t you? “No, I don’t think so at all. We’ll see in the election.”

Don’t people want their politicians to be articulate and knowledgeable?

“I have a great breadth of knowledge. About something Scotland really needs. Business! “Everybody in this country, the press, the establishment politicians, all they talk about is benefits. Let’s give money away. I’m the only one who is talking about generating money, making Scotland business friendly. If that makes me crazy, then good I’m crazy.”

He starts talking about multicoloured bins. “You have to point the handle towards the street.”

It’s like a runaway word association exercise. Do you think you have a logical mind or a grasshopper mind? “I think it’s as grasshopper-ish as everybody else’s.

“I may not be the greatest man in the world. I may not be a Napoleon or a Churchill. But I have every right to decide how my tax money is being squandered. Plenty of people hold my views.”

Really? Your views are all over the place, aren’t they? “I’ve plenty of supporters. When they voted Ukip in the European election, I was colourful, I made interesting arguments. That’s better than being another boring suit.”

But Sturgeon and Salmond didn’t where they are by being the clown candidate. You can have charisma and ideas to get profile. You can impress people rather than just appall them.

“I impress a lot of people.” You reckon? “I think so. A lot of people are fed up with the status quo. Fed up with all these clones. They all come out with the same Newspeak, it’s all the same rubbish, the same little ditties they all come out with. Well, I’m sorry, I don’t do ditties.”

It’s more free jazz with you, isn’t it? “Better free jazz than the usual rubbish.”

David Coburn and his free jazzmen are appearing soon on a ballot near you.