THE European Parliament rang out to a mixture of melancholy, raspberries and schadenfreude.
During an emergency debate on Britain’s vote to quit the euro-club, its chief eurocrat Jean-Claude Juncker spoke of his sadness at the Brexit decision but insisted Europe must respect British democracy.
Nigel Farage, just five feet away, perched next to a small Union flag, began to clap. "That's the last time you are applauding here," snapped the Luxembourger.
When he declared he was “not a robot; I am not a technocrat,” JC was heckled.
Having been the target of many Ukip barbs, the commission president could no longer resist firing back, telling Nige: “To some extent, I am really surprised that you are here. You were fighting for the exit; the British people voted in favour of the exit. Why are you here?"
The Ukipper quipped it was a "pleasure" to be in the chamber.
After MEPs spoke about their own sadness at the UK’s Brexit vote, it was Mr F’s turn.
The Ukip chief, the British cuckoo in the euro-nest, rose to speak to be met by a series of grunts and groans, noting ironically: “Thank you for the warm welcome."
Nige then launched into a speech he no doubt had dreamt of making from his Union Jack pillow for some considerable time.
"When I came here 17 years ago and said I wanted to lead a campaign to get Britain to leave the European Union you all laughed at me. Well, I have to say you're not laughing now are you?" His continental colleagues let out a collective moan of derision.
As the session was disrupted by constant shouts of dissent, Martin Schulz, the parliament’s urbane president was forced to intervene, politely warning members that "one major quality of democracy is that you listen to those even if you don't share their opinion".
But he then told the chamber that it was Ukip, which usually heckled, and that MEPs should not copy it.
Mr F accused the euro-club of being in denial over its failing policies on the currency and on the migration crisis. He claimed the seismic Brexit vote represented the ordinary people kicking back against the lofty Establishment and that Britain offered a beacon of hope to true democrats. The UK, the Ukipper noted, would not be the last member state to leave the Brussels brotherhood.
Facing down yet more boos, he declared: "As a policy to impose poverty on Greece and the rest of the Mediterranean, you have done very well.”
Before he launched into how Britain wanted a “grown-up” relationship with Europe, to be its friends and a good trading partner with its EU neighbours, he could not resist one more pop at his fellow MEPs, declaring to more cat-calls: "Most of you have never done a proper job in your lives!"
Later, the SNP’s champion in Brussels, Alyn Smith rose to declare how the “esprit europeen” of the Remainers in Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and London should be respected.
He then told the chamber: “Scotland did not let you down. Please, I beg you, cher colleagues, do not let Scotland down now." He won a standing ovation. One that did not include, of course, the Ukippers.
But in one surreal moment, JC and Nige were seen chatting closely to one another with each man placing his hands on the other’s arms in a kind of continental wrestling hold.
Faced with a gaggle of photographers, the eurocrat-in-chief then in one remarkable moment of camaraderie appeared to give the anti-EU MEP a continental kiss on the cheek. Or was it, in fact, a French curse in the ear?
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