WHAT with one MP charged with fraud in Glasgow, another lighting up police radar in Edinburgh, and a third quizzed by the fuzz in Dundee, it’s been rather a torrid week for the Scottish Correctional Party.
That being one of the few legally reportable nicknames for the SNP these days.
They used to have a slogan, Scotland Free by 93. Now it’s Free the Westminster Three.
Nicola Sturgeon’s elected headaches inevitably surfaced at FMQs.
First, however, Ruth Davidson made an impassioned plea for setting fire to things.
Specifically shale gas, though she sounded crazed enough to burn anything for a few bob.
The government were shale gas humbugs, she raged, happy for it to be imported from the US to Grangemouth, but against it being fracked here in Scotland.
“Will the FM explain the SNP’s total double standards on the matter?” she fumed.
The Tory leader was from “the party that is pouring public money into the white elephant of Hinkley Point,” and ergo a non-person on energy matters, the FM sniffed.
Labour’s Kezia Dugdale then asked if Ms Sturgeon was going to respect this week’s Holyrood vote against health cuts.
Knowing the issue to be political Kryptonite, the FM furiously shirked responsibility.
Unpopular decisions to cut things lay with NHS boards, she recalled.
“Labour allowed services to close; this Government protects local services!”
At which, it all descended into juvenile chaos, with John Swinney flapping his hands like a broken traffic cop as Labour’s Anas Sarwar and Neil Bibby made fun of him.
The education secretary, 52, even clyped to teacher, asking the Presiding Officer to make the bad boys stop. “Will members please keep it down?” sighed Ken Macintosh,
Finally, what we’d all been waiting for, as Tory Murdo Fraser put his tongue firmly in his cheek and asked: “Given the number of her Westminster colleagues now helping the police with their enquiries, is the FM confident Police Scotland have the resources to deal with this upsurge in their workload?”
Ms Sturgeon fought the urge to add homicide to the party rap sheet.
“We have committed to real terms protection of the police revenue budget, which over this parliament will ensure an additional £100m to spend,” she seethed.
Only £100m? At this rate it’ll be gone by Christmas.
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