Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Front pages

The Herald:

Exclusive: In The Herald, political correspondent Daniel Sanderson reports that the Irish Government has told FM Nicola Sturgeon that formal talks over Brexit would only take place with London, thus undermining her plan to directly lobby EU member states. 

Most of the papers picture the historic first meeting between Barack Obama and Donald Trump. “Meet the Apprentice” is the Times headline; the Record goes for “Ooh, now that is awkward”; the Sun calls it a “cringe meeting”.

The Telegraph says Ukip leader Nigel Farage will be Downing Street’s go-between with the President-elect because the May administration has no links to Team Trump. 

The Herald: Exclusive: In the Evening Times, Stewart Paterson reports that a disabled woman in Glasgow has been stuck in hospital since April because council officials and her family cannot agree a care package. 

“If Trump can win, we can too,” is the Sun’s message to the Scotland football team. 

Camley’s cartoon

The Herald:

Camley finds imitation the sincerest form of flattery as First Lady Michelle Obama and soon-to-be First Lady Melania Trump meet. 

FFS: Five in five seconds

What’s the story?

Donald Trump is back on Twitter, complaining. 

No, hang on, I’ve just seen him looking presidential in the White House. Surely his days of social media rants are behind him?

You might think so, but last night he was back. 

Complaining about?

Protesters on the streets. See below. Mr Trump is not the only one urging critics to move on.

Who else?

Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson, who once described Mr Trump as  “clearly out of his mind”, told his European counterparts it was “time to snap out of the general doom and gloom” and bring an end to what he called the “whingerama”. Former Chancellor George Osborne appears to be joining in too.

What are the chances of that happening? 

Slim to non-existent (see Afore Ye Go, below). The thing about having your name emblazoned on buildings is that it is easy for protesters to find them. Last night there was a march in DC from the White House to his Mr Trump’s new Washington hotel, the Trump International on Pennsylvania Avenue, where rooms start at a very reasonable (ahem) $484 a night, excluding taxes. 

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

"Perhaps we might think of rebuilding Hadrian’s Wall – and getting the Scots to pay for it. Mind you, I wouldn’t take an IOU. Would you?"

Inspired by Donald Trump's victory, former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie writes in the paper's English edition today.

The Herald:

“I never want to be a politician that maintains a diplomatic silence in the face of attitudes of racism, sexism, misogyny or intolerance of any kind.”

FM Nicola Sturgeon. Jane Barlow/PA Wire

The Herald:

"The call ended with President-elect Trump inviting the Prime Minister to visit him as soon as possible.”

Downing Street on the first talks between Theresa May and Donald Trump. Although Mrs May was a long way down his foreign leader call list, ministers insisted the "special relationship" remained intact. Carl Court-Pool/Getty Images

The Herald:

"I will be encouraging [Trump] to make the UK his number one global priority. I am going to say 'Come and schmooze Theresa - don't touch her, for goodness sake. If it comes to it, I could be there as a responsible adult to make sure everything's OK.”

Ukip leader Nigel Farage, who also called President Obama “a loathsome individual”. TalkRadio. Ben Birchall/PA Wire

The Herald:

"The idea that we have shared values with a racist, misogynistic, self-confessed groper beggars belief.”

Former Labour leader Ed Miliband. BBC. Jack Taylor/Getty Images

The Herald:

“The Klan won last night. White nationalists. Sexists, racists and buffoons ... Men who have no right to call themselves that and who think that women who aspire to more than looking hot are shrill, ugly, and otherwise worthy of our scorn rather than our admiration, struck a blow for misogynistic s***heads everywhere.”

West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin in a letter to his teenage daughter and wife, published in Vanity Fair. Sorkin added: "The battle isn't over, it's just begun.” Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty Images

The Herald:

"Over the next four years, our problems are going to get much, much worse. Winter is coming.”

Game of Thrones author George RR Martin in a blog titled "President Pussygrabber”.  Steve Snowden/Getty Images for AMC Networks

The Herald:

"#OccupyTrump.”

Filmmaker Michael Moore. Jemal Countess/Getty Images

The Herald:

"I see some celebrities will leave the US. Not me. I will be buying property here in four years' time when prices hit rock bottom.”

Fawlty Towers star John Cleese. Clemens Bilan/Getty Images

Newsweek has had to recall 125,000 copies of a special edition marking a Clinton victory.

“Buster the dog is Donald Trump, [the girl] is Hillary Clinton and the trampoline is America. Thanks for rubbing it in, John Lewis.”

Stuart Heritage on the new John Lewis ad, which shows a girl being beaten the first bounce on her new trampoline on Christmas morning by her dog. Guardian. John Lewis/PA Wire

Thanks for reading. See you Monday. Twitter: @alisonmrowat