AFTER his dodgy joke about houghmagandy with female politicians at last year’s Edinburgh Fringe, Alex Salmond has again run into trouble with the fairer sex. Interviewing new Sinn Féin president Mary Lou McDonald for his Kremlin TV chat show, Eck oozed: “Tell me a bit about your own background, how you came into politics. You’re a Dublin girl?” Ms McDonald shot back: “I’m a Dublin woman, Alex, even.” That’s him telt.

FAME at last for Paul Sweeney, the youthful Labour MP for Glasgow North East, who has made it onto the cult Facebook site Angry People in Local Newspapers. Mr Sweeney was praised for his “epic double thumbs-down work” after posing dejectedly outside a shuttered branch of RBS. “Elbows up and thumbs down... he’s a pro and he knows it,” was one comment. “You wouldn't see lanky toff Rees-Mogg doing this,” the site’s author added admiringly, “he's got a servant for sticking thumbs in places.” Future Labour leader?

AH, but it’s a hard life being an MSP, as the latest list of events and exhibitions being staged at Holyrood confirms. On 27 February Tory Rachel Hamilton is sponsoring a bash on the pressing subject of Scotch whisky and tourism. While a day later, Nat Christina McKelvie is behind “an evening of Scottish Gin and spirits”, which offers a chance to “sample produce, alongside canapés and soft drinks (whatever they are)”. Really, it’s like the toil never ends...

BRAVING the wilderness north of Islington, Jeremy Corbyn was in Scotland this week to rally the troops. Speaking at Shottstown Miners Welfare in Penicuik, he lauded Scottish leader Richard Leonard. A “brilliant campaigner” with a “very incisive mind”, apparently. However some were unconvinced. When Mr Leonard was introduced as the “next First Minister of Scotland”, there was a deafening shout of “not a chance” from the back of the hall.

IT’S job creation time/purge hour at Scottish Labour, we see. The party this week advertised for a new head of policy, a new head of communications and a new chief of staff for Mr Leonard. The poor souls currently doing the work have been told they’re only “interim”. However the specs for all three posts demand applicants have an “excellent level of political awareness”. So why they'd work for Scottish Labour is anyone’s guess.

THE SNP is also hiring. It’s Westminster group, currently in the throes of a fractious deputy leadership contest, is looking to recruit a “full time Senior Researcher (Economics)” with a background in “both quantitative and qualitative data analysis”. However “political awareness and judgement and knowledge of the SNP’s aims and objectives” is not vital, merely “strongly advantageous”. You wouldn’t want to show up the MPs, after all.

TALKING of the SNP deputy contest, we see blue-blooded Uber-Brits Scotland in Union are trying to cash in on it. They’ve made candidate James Dornan their poster boy - surely a first for the Glasgow MSP - by running his mugshot next to his call for a new referendum. “You can make the SNP listen by supporting our campaign from as £3 a month,” pants the blurb. It’s duff, but not as bad as their Valentine’s Day video, which featured the timeless “Roses are red / Violets are Blue / We love the UK / We don’t want Indyref2”. So romantic!