JUST at the moment, most of us would probably take our wages in the Albanian lek if it made the bills any easier.
Instead, we are paying clever people to decide which currency is best for being broke.
There are a lot of counterfeit arguments around. One has been heard from the Chancellor, George Osborne, who wants us to believe that Scotland will be cut off without a bawbee if it votes for independence. The downgraded Chancellor, as Alex Salmond calls him, is perhaps not the first person you'd turn to for help with hard sums, but that hasn't deterred Johann Lamont and the rest of the No Sale campaign. She put our money where Osborne's mouth was yesterday.
How would Scotland remaining in a sterling area count as independence? "We no longer cry freedom," she said, "we cry flexibility, whatever that means."
Salmond was refusing to answer simple questions about that magical ingredient in all modern economic policies, "plan B".
The First Minister's answer was that when push comes to shove over a currency union, England would act in a most un-English way and obey "overwhelming self-interest". The balance of payments, that fine old concept, depends on Scotland's resources.
Ruth Davidson, for the Tories, tried to have fun with the undeniable fact that SNP attitudes towards sterling have shifted a bit. What was once called a millstone is now a life raft to which Salmond clings.
The First Minister responded with the equally undeniable fact that certain people with whom Davidson is in alliance – Alistair Darling and Danny Alexander were mentioned – were once keen enthusiasts for the euro. Tories flinch at the very word, but are shoulder to shoulder with reformed europhiles in the contest over Scotland and the pound.
Davidson claimed that creating a sterling zone would be "unbelievably difficult". She also put in a word for plan B, the cut-price cliche of the hour. Salmond responded by brandishing £50 billion of assets. "Where's mine?" cried a nation with one voice.
As debates went, this one wasn't worth more than a handful of Romanian lei. It was as phoney, as older readers might say, as a nine bob note. Come a Yes vote, a deal will certainly follow.
For now, you pays your money, in any currency you like, and makes your choice. On the other hand, it might be an idea to check your wallets.
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