It makes him sound like an Edwardian husband outlining his wife's purported infidelities with the gamekeeper. Not good. Especially with all this Bill Walker stuff just now. And "reminding gently" when he's dealing with Johann Lamont or Ruth Davidson is patronising, not good.
Apart from that, the Boss was OK, but he could have done with a bit more backing from the troops. Were they still on the sangria? Or Ritalin? This was meant to be the big Programme for Government, 13 Bills to propel us to independence on a wave of enthusiasm verging on hysteria.
If the backbench kiddies can't get excited, how can we fire up the voters? OK, we all know that the Bankruptcy Consolidation Bill and the Conclusion of Contracts Bill are not likely to cause a stir, but everyone was meant to go wild. It was planned as a cross between an AC/DC concert and a rally. Instead, it was like they were all watching Balamory, but less edgy and with fewer laughs.
The 13 Bills were met without a single smattering of applause, far less whoops that might loosen the beams in the Chamber. There was a ripple, eventually, when the FM had a go at George Osborne in Aberdeen but that ought to be a given.
When he asked "is there anyone who wants Westminster to retain control of welfare" one brave Labour voice called out "Yes" and it took a few seconds for the SNP troops to respond.
It gave Johann Lamont her first hit of the new session when she was able to open, with heavy sarcasm: "That was so uplifting..." Only then did the SNP troops get noisy, which served only to make the event seem like FMQs.
Maybe they were told to keep it statesman-like for the FM. But then why rise to the Opposition bait?
Cheering the Salmond programme would have at least been positive, but perhaps there comes a point when ultra-gradualism no longer inspires.