Yah-boo sucks

WE remain unclear whether it is entirely appropriate for Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill to refer to the country's most senior judge as "our silver-tongued assassin". He was referring to Lord Gill's expertly understated, low-key responses to Justice Committee criticism of the court reform process, not to any quiet reinstatement of capital punishment.

But we thought Mr MacAskill gave an expert summation of his own exchanges with committee: "They said yah-boo sucks and I said get it up ye."

Press ganged

HOLYROOD officials have given a fascinating insight into committee work by accidentally publishing the private papers for next Tuesday's Education and Culture session online. There is little revelation. However, the clerks suggest that when choosing their future work, MSPs consider "the merit of selecting topics that are particularly likely to attract media coverage". Our politicians, publicity junkies? Surely not.

Conference fever

IT'S THAT time of the year again. Dust down your blue-rinse wigs, the Tories are gathering. Venues for conference fringes are always rich with irony. Thus, the Young Tories in Stirling last night – or Conservative Future Scotland, the dreary new monicker by which we must style them – met in The English Room.

Another fringe today sees the Royal College of Psychiatrists ask: "Alcohol in Scotland – Where are we, where we've been and where are we going next." Drink, and indeed Tory conferences, have that effect on us.

Top spin

Press release headline of the week? No contest. Thanks, LibDems, for: "Rennie: First Minister's cuddle with pandas serves as reminder of Dalai Lama snub." Sadly for LibDem chief Willie, editors took the view Alex Salmond's panda encounter was exciting enough without having to introduce the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader into the equation.

Beastie boys

The big beast of Holyrood's big beasts has finally succumbed to the blandishments of Westminster.

After a deal of negotiation, Alex Salmond (who else?) has agreed to be the guest of the feral beasts at the Commons – the parliamentary press corps. The First Minister, who is said to prefer the cut and thrust of Westminster to the hemispherical politicking of Holyrood, is due to meet the press on November 19. To avid observers of referendum matters, this will be unerringly close to the publication of the SNP Government's prospectus for independence, which the romantics among us are expecting on St Andrew's Day – even if it is a Saturday. Mr Salmond's customary hail-fellow-well-met approach will go down well with the epicurean hacks of SW1. But the key question is: which of the beasts will come out on top?

Tough guy

LONG time spin-doctor to Nicola Sturgeon, Noel Dolan, above, is mentioned in Iain Macwhirter's new book on referendum shenanigans by reference to the Nats' welcoming of New Scots. Did Dolan know he had been likened to legendary tough Cockney Bob Hoskins? "Actually I did know that," he replied in a Long Good Friday accent.

Chic

Just to prove that the issue of Scottish independence is not just being discussed ad infinitem this side of Hadrian's Wall but in deepest England too. This Saturday, SNP MSP Chic Brodie will be in Somerset to defend the Nationalist cause against former Labour MP Tony Wright. They will each be accompanied by a student from the Huish Episcopi Academy Debating Society to put their respective arguments on the subject – the United Kingdom needs Scotland. The event, the Bagehot Memorial Debate, is part of the Langport Community Festival. Of course, scholars of history will know that the Victorian essayist Walter Bagehot said in 1870: "What does Great Britain not gain by the hearty co-operation of Scotch and English and the totally different genius even of the Northern and the Southern English in one and the same national unity?"

He also reputedly said: "You may talk of the tyranny of Nero and Tiberius but the real tyranny is the tyranny of your next door neighbour."

Cultured minister

Fiona Hyslop's arrow of reputation in the arts world in pointing decidedly up. People are even saying she is the best Scottish culture secretary yet (there have been 11).

The warm bubble bath of reassurance contained in her now 'landmark' culture speech this week ("Art is about our essence, not pounds and pence") has reassured a nervous cultural world that the Scottish Government is on the side of the artist.

Ms Hyslop is also discerning as a consumer of art. At the sumptuous Venice Biennale last week, she saw the brash Russian pavilion. In it, conceptual Russian artist Vadim Zakharov created a shower of gold coins which falls from floor to basement, but only women are allowed into the basement to pick up coins (protected by umbrellas).

Hyslop did not think much of this re-do of Greek myth, didn't wield the umbrella, and rightly spotted it was, in fact, a load of claptrap.

Unspun can be contacted at unspun@theherald.co.uk or Twitter: @Unspunherald