WAKEY, wakey!
Amidst all the doom and gloom that normally shrouds Westminster politics, a moment of light relief briefly shone across the green benches at PMQs when, with delicious timing, the snow-topped Sir Desmond Swayne rose to ask a question.
It was, of course, the Hampshire Brexiteer, who the previous day was caught on camera examining the inside of his eyelids as Bagpuss himself, arch-Remainer Ken Clarke, rambled on about Europe,
When Sir Desmond rose, the House erupted into laughter. Such was the merriment John Bercow was forced to intervene as the Tory backbencher, with Bagpuss sitting in front of him, gave him a comradely pat on the shoulder.
The Speaker roared: “He is extremely alert. And I'm alert to what he's going to say."
The former minister quipped to Mother Theresa: “A question keeps me awake at night. How will companies be encouraged to follow her lead in the way that Iceland has done?"
Earlier, he had asked the House’s forgiveness for his nodding off, explaining: “I was in the Serpentine at 530am and on the 11th day we have debated this bill, it took its toll."
The main ding-dong was, as expected, over the collapse of Carillion but as the chief comrade got into his stride of indignation, he forgot a basic rule; he sat down without asking a question.
The head girl shot up and told him, much to the glee of the Tory berserkers: “I am very happy to answer questions when the right honourable gentleman asks one. He did not.” And with that she swiftly sat down again.
As Jezza insisted he had indeed asked if the Government had been negligent, his comrade Emily Thornberry snapped at the PM: “Just answer the question!”
Maggie May snapped back: “I will indeed answer the question but I know that the Shadow Foreign Secretary has herself praised Carillion in the past for its work.” At which, ET frowned and gave the PM a quizzical look.
Later, the chief comrade’s chief aide was asked if the 68-year-old party leader had had a “senior moment” during PMQs.
“Nonsense,” he insisted. "He is extremely vigorous. He has become more effective as a leader since he was first elected. I see no sign whatsoever that his age is an impediment to continuing to be leader."
Of course, the last place any MP would nod off is PMQs. Not even Sir Desmond.
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