FMQs was a bit of a rum stew - the budget, Scottish Tory conference, Labour's devolution plans, all were thrown willy nilly into the pot.

It wasn't exactly appetising, but at least there was a Gordon Ramsay to direct the warring chefs. Presiding Officer Tricia Marwick has been guilty of letting FMQs drift recently, but today she brought the firm towel-snap of discipline to the chamber, flicking all who erred before her.

Even her voice, normally that of a 60-a-day raven, was unnaturally smooth. It was good to see her back on form.

First in the order, if not in the polls, Labour's Johann Lamont asked Alex Salmond why he wasn't doing enough to ensure workers on all public sector contracts earned the £7.65 living wage.

The FM moodily reminded her the SNP introduced the living wage for thousands of staff, while she'd done diddly in office. The SNP's credentials were "impeccable".

Ms Lamont pressed on. "The first minister gives promise of jam tomorrow when independence comes rather than making a difference right now..." but by the end of the sentence she was barely audible.

It was that reference to "jam tomorrow". Given Labour's devolution commission promises "vinegar forever" in the form of higher taxes, the SNP backbenches erupted in acid laughter.

"Order! Order!" snapped Ms Marwick.

The FM hit back with Tuesday's gruesome Newsnight Scotland, on which Ms Lamont was kneecapped by Gordon Brewer over her tax plans.

It was, said Mr Salmond with generous understatement, a "remarkable" bit of telly.

Ruth Davidson fared better by unpicking the Government's remarkably sunny estimates for oil and gas receipts from the North Sea. These had proven "wildly overstated", she said, quoting a stream of official figures.

Suffering from the same fact allergy as their boss, SNP MSPs started grizzling loudly.

The PO fired again. "Order! I'd like to hear Ms Davidson if you don't mind."

Why should we gamble the future of our hospitals and schools on a man with such a track record, the Tory leader asked of the FM.

Mr Salmond burbled something about historic debt and the Office of Budget Responsibility (OBR) regularly having to correct its own forecasts. His figures were "robust", he insisted.

Ms Davidson, who is getting tougher and more focused each week, pointed out those "robust" figures were based on oil at $113 a barrel. "Today it is trading at $105."

She also threw back a quote from John Swinney last year, when he said the OBR's figures weren't seriously challenged.

"What a difference a year makes."

But her killer point was reminding the FM that it had been a year since he'd published any estimates of North sea oil revenue despite promising regular updates.

Where were the new figures and would they be revised down?

Mr Salmond rambled around the question but conspicuously failed to answer it, though he did have a good sign-off.

"I think people are more likely to believe a Scottish Government than a Tory party that pocketed £300bn of Scottish resources over the last 40 years and, if we allow them the opportunity, will happily pocket another £300bn over the next 40 years."

SNP backbencher Aileen McLeod teed up some more Tory-bashing by asking the FM if would keep free prescription charges, as Ms Davidson told the Tory conference on Sunday she would scrap them to pay for more nurses and midwives. "Yes," said the FM.

Was the FM as horrified as she was at the Tory plans, asked Ms McLeod breathlessly. Did he agree it was "an utterly obscene tax on ill health", that it would hammer the poor, scare kittens, block out the sun, etc etc

"I think we've got the question," sighed the PO.

Ms Davidson wanted a "sick tax", said Ms Salmond, launching into a lecture on how the Tories ought to run their affairs: "It's not a policy which is going to increase your support."

Tory deputy leader Jackson Carlaw sprang gazelle-like to his feet. How could the FM "justify continuing to put hard-pressed resources into a hamfisted, universal, non-targeted tax cut which has undoubtedly benefitted the £100,000 ministers sitting on the front bench?" he wailed.

Mr Salmond suggested responsibility for selling the poisonous prescription policy had clearly been dumped on the deputy.

At which the Tories exploded into laughter, given Nicola Sturgeon's daily chore of bleaching the FM's dirty laundry.

Mr Salmond didn't like that, recovered briefly, but then fell over again when he went off at a tangent about the Scottish Tory conference, quoting a tabloid report on "desperate Tory bosses" trying to fill empty seats.

"First Minister!" interrupted Ms Marwick, in a patronising drawl worthy of the FM himself. "First Minister! It's very interesting, but it's nothing to do with prescription charges."

Judging by his face, if there's one thing the FM hates, it's a taste of his own medicine.