Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Front pages

The Herald:

In The Herald, Scottish political editor Tom Gordon reports on Chancellor Philip Hammond’s visit to Edinburgh yesterday, during which he ruled out a bespoke Scottish deal on Brexit. 

The same story leads The National, the Times, Telegraph, Mail, Scotsman and Express, which variously describe the SNP plan as being “slapped down” and “crushed”. 

The Herald: Exclusive: in the Evening Times, Caroline Wilson reports on plans which could see the number of school nurses in Glasgow reduced drastically. 

The FT leads on Brexit Secretary David Davis’s remarks that the UK might pay for access to the single market. The “i” says the pound jumped after the Commons declaration. 

The Guardian says police have been “flooded” with allegations of child abuse in football, with 350 cases now being investigated. 

Camley’s cartoon

The Herald:

Camley finds a less than festive mood down on the farm post Brexit-vote. 

FFS: Five in five seconds

What’s the story? The Lib Dems have won a surprise victory in the “Brexit by-election”, aka the fight for the seat of Richmond Park and North Kingston, with a massive swing from the Tories of 21.7%.   

Ousting? Former Tory MP Zac Goldsmith, who resigned the seat and stood as an Independent after the May government backed a third runway at Heathrow. He polled 18,638 votes to Sarah Olney’s 20,510. At the 2015 general election, Goldsmith had a majority of 23,015. 

Why the Brexit by-election? The LibDems presented it as the first chance for the electorate to have its say on the Brexit vote.

The Herald:

Which was? In her victory speech, Ms Olney said: "The people of Richmond Park and North Kingston have sent a shock wave through this Conservative Brexit government, and our message is clear: we do not want a hard Brexit. We do not want to be pulled out of the single market, and we will not let intolerance, division and fear win.”

How much of an upset? The Conservatives are likely to point out that wealthy Richmond was solidly Remain in the EU referendum, that Brexit negotiations have not yet formally begun, that they did not put up a candidate against Goldsmith, and that by-elections will be by-elections. Still, it’s the loss of a seat to a Tory government with a slim working majority of 14. 

From the FT's Jim Pickard.

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

“We are going to appoint General Mad Dog Matiss as our secretary of defence. But we’re not announcing it till Monday, so don’t tell anybody.”

Donald Trump, at the first of his “victory tour” rallies, this one in Cincinnati, Ohio. A triumphant Trump also told the cheering crowd: “We did have a lot of fun fighting Hillary didn't we?”

Scots Tory leader Ruth Davidson critises a recent SNP appeal for donations.

The Herald:

“I am aware of the risk that going down a route that would not gather sufficient support would entail, so I have decided not to be a candidate in the presidential election.”

French president Francois Hollande, whose approval rating has plunged to a historic low of 4%. Jack Taylor/Getty Images

The Herald:

"Isn't it the case that under the SNP, the NHS is stuck in the waiting room while the First Minister plots a second referendum?”

Scottish Labour leader Kezia Dugdale after the FM confirmed 53,257 patients failed to get treatment within a legally binding 12-week waiting time. FM Nicola Sturgeon responded: "When this Government took office there were only 85% of patients treated within 18 weeks.” Graeme Robertson/Getty Images

The Herald:

"I want to say to everyone who hasn't been tested - get tested, regardless of who you are, your background, culture or religion.”

Prince Harry, visiting Barbados, and pop star Rihanna, take a live HIV test to raise awareness about the illness on World Aids Day. Chris Jackson/PA Wire

At least he is making his mark on Europe sartorially.

A week that began with Tory MP Jackson Carlaw dubbing Nicola Sturgeon 'Scotland's Evita' for her diplomatic travels, ends with the London branch of the SNP giving him the nickname 'CarLot'. Your move, Mr Carlaw.

Thanks for reading. See you Monday. Twitter: @alisonmrowat