THERE was no ceremony, no fanfare, no flunky proffering a ribbon on a silk cushion, but Michael Matheson was formally inducted at FMQs all the same today.
Kezia Dugdale did the honours, asking if Nicola Sturgeon still had full confidence in her Justice Secretary after the latest “damning assessment” of Police Scotland.
“Yes, I do,” she said, instantly and irrevocably conferring the Order of the Black Spot on him.
He now joins Angela Constance (education) and Shona Robison (bed-blocking) in the SNP triangle of death, whose members live one just shove from the political abyss.
To be fair, Mr Matheson is unlikely to be first to feel Ms Sturgeon’s icy hand in the small of his back one morning, but an expression of confidence is always how these things start.
At least the FM was brisk in her support, not fulsome. Fulsome is never good.
The proceedings began with Ms Dugdale raising an official report into Police Scotland’s duff call handling system, which rather than being part of a “smooth transition” visible only to ministers in 2013, had actually suffered “major weaknesses”.
Ms Sturgeon burbled unconvincingly about “governance, change management and performance” issues being addressed.
“I say absolutely frankly to Kezia Dugdale that I am not trying to escape any facts,” she said, rather hastily perhaps - you can escape with anything under Police Scotland.
“The single police force is the one major area of public service reform that the SNP government has undertaken and it has got it wrong,” nee-nawed Ms Dugdale.
“[Mr Matheson] is bang to rights on police failings. He cannot lay the blame anywhere else, so I ask the FM whether she still has any confidence in her justice minister?”
As Ms Sturgeon replied in the affirmative, Mr Matheson’s face twitched into a horrified smile.
Cabinet colleague Roseanna Cunningham laid a reassuring hand on his arm. He stared at it as if he was being cursed by a monkey’s paw.
“This is a really serious issue,” said Ms Sturgeon, before trivialising it by dragging in a new poll showing “58 per cent of people intend to vote for us again next year”.
It was Ms Dugdale’s “miserable approach that denies there is anything good about this country that sees her and her party languishing in the opinion polls," she huffed.
At the back of the chamber, Kenny MacAskill, the previous Justice Secretary, sat with Easter Island impassiveness. Finally, the black spot was someone else’s.
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