THERE is a disease of sheep called gid. A worm gets into the brain and the poor afflicted beast keeps walking round in circles, banging its head.
I don’t say Kezia Dugdale has it, but a trip to the vet may be advisable. She certainly showed all the symptoms at FMQs - and Nicola Sturgeon damn near slaughtered her.
The episode began with George Osborne’s plan to raise the 40p income tax threshold, an effective cut that Scottish Labour says it would reverse.
“Can the First Minister confirm whether the SNP would do the same?” asked Ms Dugdale.
Nicola Sturgeon wanted to be “absolutely clear: a large tax cut for those on the highest incomes when support for the disabled is being cut…is the wrong choice.”
An ovine fog descended over the Labour leader’s judgment.
What an appallingly vague reply that was, she reckoned.
“People listening will know that was anything but a clear answer!”
Baffled, embarrassed laughter broke out. “Order!” snapped the Presiding Officer.
Ms Sturgeon urged Ms Dugdale to ditch the “mock indignation” and listen to her “very clear answer”, but Labour’s flock indignation only grew louder.
“Twice I have asked whether she will reverse the cut,” Ms Dugdale bleated on. “She has told me that she does not support it, but has not said whether she would reverse it.”
Ms Sturgeon studied her opponent as an eagle eyes a lamb.
“The problem for Kezia Dugdale is that people watching this are starting to laugh not with her but at her. Let me try again. If I think that’s the wrong choice, it’s not a choice I’m going to make. Perhaps that’s simple enough.”
Ms Dugdale rotated a few times then energetically headbutted the brick wall again.
“People are wondering why the FM can’t give a simple yes or no,” she declared.
As the SNP benches sobbed with joy, Ms Sturgeon pleaded for her to stop.
“This questioning reminds me of Labour in Scotland - going absolutely nowhere. Let me say for the fourth time, George Osborne’s decision.. is the wrong choice. I’ve said that four times; surely somebody on the Labour benches must have understood me?!”
All that was needed to complete the picture was a Shepherd’s crook to drag Ms Dugdale away. Unfortunately for her, it never came.
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