PERHAPS it was the strain of reflecting on the election result, or keeping her chin above ten years of government baggage, or the heat, or just a run-of-the-mill murderous rage.
Whatever it was, Nicola Sturgeon was in a foul mood at FMQs.
She couldn’t have more more ratty if she’d been boating with mole and badger.
Tory leader Ruth Davidson didn’t help with her clever-clever direct questions.
Would the government process EU farm payments on time, yes or no?
Had the government asked Brussels for an extension to the looming deadline, yes or no?
Ms Sturgeon wasn’t going to stand for any of that chicanery.
“We will continue to deliver the scheme... by the deadline,” she growled, forgetting to mention her officials had asked Brussels for more time to fix it on Tuesday.
Labour’s Kezia Dugdale raised college cuts by way of this week’s relaxation on tail-docking for sporting hounds, which she called the SNP’s vote “to cut off puppy dogs’ tails”.
This cutting mania had led to a doubling of college drop-out rates, she claimed.
Ms Sturgeon was neither sugar nor spice. Ms Dugdale was talking down colleges “in the same way as she talks down everything else in Scotland,” she fumed, to Labour howls.
“Order!” barked Presiding Officer Ken Macintosh. “The election is over. Will members please conduct themselves responsibly.” Hold on to that dream, Ken.
As Ms Dugdale persisted, the FM demanded she admit colleges weren’t all bad “for once in her life”. Rants about the Queen’s speech (“humiliatingly vacuous”) and a new Tory peer (“absolute abomination”) followed, before Ms Sturgeon went full-tilt over baby boxes.
“Scottish Labour is a fan of the baby box scheme, which originates in Finland, and we want its introduction in Scotland to have similar success,” smiled backbencher Monica Lennon, suggesting there might be room for improvement. Ms Sturgeon splintered her lectern.
“When I listen to Labour politicians talking about the baby box...” she seethed with basilisk stare. “For goodness’ sake! Can Labour members not get over their dislike of the SNP and bring themselves to welcome something that’s such good news for babies across Scotland?”
At which everyone saw that, like babies across Scotland, she really needs a good nap.
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