TYPICAL, isn't it?
You spend half a billion quid on a new parliament and the monkeys to fill it, then all they do is chatter about the parliament they left behind.
It was Westminster, Westminster, Westminster at FMQs today, as local business was shunted aside in favour of the general election.
And not only its outcome - assumed to be a love-hate Lab-Nat pact - but the finer points of the next legislative programme.
Capering across this fantasyscape, Labour's Kezia Dugdale asked Nicola Sturgeon if an as-yet unelected block of SNP MPs would amend a non-existent Labour Home Rule bill to clarify the SNP's shape-shifting plans for Full Fiscal Autonomy.
If that makes sense, congratulations, you are now a fully qualified Holyrood watcher. An anorak is in the post.
Ms Sturgeon said her MPs would naturally back more powers, but repeatedly refused to mention Full FA.
She wanted "maximum powers", she said, without defining them.
"The FM cannot bring herself to say the words 'full fiscal autonomy'," grinned Ms Dugdale.
"It defies belief. It seems the SNP is developing a bad habit of concealing its plans for imposing even more austerity on the people of Scotland."
Ms Sturgeon, warming up for her TV leaders debate, insisted Labour was the party of austerity - and so was everyone else.
"The Scottish people have Labour's measure. They know that Labour is proposing further austerity and they know that the SNP is the only alternative to Tory, Labour and Liberal austerity."
Tory Ruth Davidson barely bothered with a question and had a shamelessly plug instead.
"Job creators are telling the world that Conservative policies across Britain have shown that the UK is open for business," she trilled.
"At this election, Scotland faces a choice: back to work with the Conservatives of back to economic chaos with Labour, this time with the SNP holding it to ransom."
Impatient demands of "Question!" rang out to little avail.
Ms Sturgeon simply reminded 'One MP' Davidson how the SNP was faring in the polls - enough said.
Presumably as a psychological coping mechanism, LibDem Willie Rennie avoided all mention of the election, and did rather well on the crumbling reputation of Police Scotland.
"I am increasingly concerned about the integrity and practices of the leadership," he said, his long, lonely opposition to the force giving him an authority absent from the rest of the knockabout.
Then, where Ms Davidson failed, another Tory finally got under the FM's skin.
Murdo Fraser raised Ms Sturgeon's old boss and his views, recently expounded at last week's SNP conference, on all that awfy bias at the BBC.
Noting freedom from political interference in the media was a hallmark of democracy, Mr Fraser asked: "When the SNP backbencher Alex Salmond attacks the BBC for its coverage of the referendum and demands that it comes under the political control of this Parliament, is he speaking for the FM, her government, the SNP or just for himself?"
Resting his wrist between book signings, Mr Salmond looked nonplussed at the description.
"He speaks for Scotland!" screamed one of his tearful backbench fans.
After a brief flinch, Ms Sturgeon said the media should indeed be free of political interference, and reminded Mr Fraser the Tories had a long history of Beeb-bashing.
"I suggest that he gets his own house in order," she growled.
Labour's answer to Mr Fraser, leader manqué Neil Findlay, then chipped in a dig about cybernats.
"Will the FM distance herself and her party from websites and blogs that revel in nasty, vindictive and gutter politics?"
Nationalist MSPs hooted and pointed at their rivals.
"My goodness!" gasped John Swinney in disbelief. He had a point.
Nasty, vindictive gutter politics is Scottish Labour's motto.
Ms Sturgeon suggested Labour get its house in order too.
But with a limelight junkie predecessor dreaming fresh dreams of Westminster glory, perhaps she ought to worry about a house divided nearer to home.
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