YOU learn a lot at FMQs.

How low your boredom threshold is, for instance; or the self-inflicted pain needed to stave off a coma; why toadying deserves to be a capital crime.

But now and again a genuine revelation comes along.

I bet you thought the UK elects a new parliament on Thursday, right? Wrong.

It turns out, and we had this on good authority from Labour Deputy Kezia Dugdale, that some of the country, ie the fickle Scottish bit that's breaking up with Labour, will actually be voting for a second referendum on May 7.

In fact, if you take a coin and rub the ballot paper like a scratchcard, under every SNP logo it says "U just backed Indyref2 sucka (smiley face)".

And that's not just a fact, that's a Labour fact, meaning the best kind there is.

Or so reckoned Ms Dugdale when she dragged up Nicola Sturgeon's previous claim that September 18 was a "once in a generation" deal, and suggested Nat MPs would regard their election as the green light for a fresh plebiscite.

"This is desperate, last throw-of-the-dice stuff from Scottish Labour," said the FM hotly.

"Talk about a party in its death throes. [It is] desperate scaremongering about a referendum that nobody is proposing."

But would the FM rule out a referendum in the SNP's 2016 manifesto? asked Ms Dugdale.

What about Jim Sillars saying SNP members would demand a second referendum "in the first line" of the manifesto? Or all those SNP candidates caught gagging for one on YouTube?

"Desperate does not quite cover it," sighed Ms Sturgeon. "I know that I am in opposition to Labour, but even I find it quite sad to watch the demise of a once proud party.

"I have the greatest respect for Jim Sillars, but I am the current leader of the SNP. This election is not about independence or a referendum."

But Ms Dugdale kept plugging away, claiming the SNP had neglected the basics of government while obsessing about the constitution.

"To any Government with the right priorities, the three Rs would mean reading, writing and arithmetic. Is it not the case that, under the SNP, the three Rs simply mean referendum, referendum, referendum?"

That was "totally and utterly farcical", Ms Sturgeon snapped. The only people talking about a referendum were Labour.

"About an hour ago, a party in Scotland launched a billboard poster about a second referendum. Do you know what? It was not the SNP -it was Scottish Labour. That is who is talking about it."

SNP MSPs pointed en masse across the aisle. "You! You!" they hooted.

Ms Dugdale was gubbed. But why just gub when you can humiliate?

"I want to thank Kezia Dugdale for her email on Tuesday," purred Ms Sturgeon. "It came from her direct to the First Minister's official email inbox. It asked me if I would be part of Labour's volunteer effort on election day.

"I do not want to pile more misery on to Scottish Labour right now, so let me break this gently to Kezia Dugdale: I think that I am busy that day."

The second referendum Ms Dugdale should fear most would be for Labour Deputy.

Tory photo-op junkie Ruth Davidson got far superior grades by focusing on the "scandal" of falling literacy and numeracy standards under the SNP.

Lapsing into reasonableness, Ms Sturgeon pretty much agreed with her.

"The results are not good enough," she admitted, adding that helping improve attainment was "a sacred responsibility" of government.

"No dogma, no ideology, no political considerations will get in the way of us doing what needs to be done on behalf of the children of this country".

Hiding at the back of the class, former education secretary Mike Russell sank lower and lower in his seat until that was left was a bearded puddle of shame.

So we also learned why he wasn't in cabinet any more.