Alex Salmond and Mark Carney should've been trending all week but weren't ( the new Dr Who's outfit was). How does that happen?
Carney told Salmond that, in the event of independence, a currency union with sterling would involve ceding some sovereignty.
Mark Carney, the Governor of the Bank of England, when do we stop calling him that? Everyone knows who he is now. But all is not lost, I may have the perfect plan. Carney is Canadian...Here's the script...
Scene: External. FM meets Mark Carney outside a bank or some
type of official looking old Edinburgh building. Both look cold, both nervously smile for quick photo call for TV & press. Very cold, Edinburgh day, late January...
FM So I hear you're Canadian?
GOVERNOR Yes.
(Rather nervous Carney, still smiling, rather rigidly).
FM You still got that problem in Canada with the hard core Irn-Bru?
GOVERNOR Yes. Can you do something about it?
FM Well Mr Governor, you sort out the pound, we can
provide a limitless amount of cans of the hard stuff.
GOVERNOR Tut Tut Mr. Salmond. I'm shocked....
FM Sorry...I eh (Salmond thinks he's overstepped the mark).
GOVERNOR Surely we should have bottles?...Glass cheques right, 30p?
BOTH RELAXED SMILE...JOB DONE.
Getting the message across now is everything. The way things are nuanced. Here's an example and yes, it is slightly off kilter. Heston Blumenthal cooks his chips three times and dredges them in salt. He's inventive, reinventing the culinary wheel and quirky. A Scot does it and he's a heart disease ridden stereotype.
What's the difference? Those working on the message and how it's portrayed know how to manipulate the message and clearly define what they want you to glean from it.
Which brings us nicely to one of many upcoming BBC Scotland referendum strands. TV channels have hours upon hours to fill and shows about the referendum are needed. This week's was called Scotland's Smoking Gun?
BBC press for the show claimed it was a 'documentary series focused on the upcoming Scottish referendum. This first programme looks at some of the worldwide events that have contributed to the need for a referendum.'
Oh that'll be worldwide earth shattering events like footage of Bill Haley, Lulu and Twiggy? Like Elvis's plane having to refuel at Prestwick Airport? I don't know about you but Deacon Blue's appearance on Top of the Pops didn't quite shake me and strike me as an earth shattering worldwide event that catapulted us head first towards a referendum.
Is this a rehashed (Jock) Rock 'n' Roll Years? Why not call it Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls? Claire Grogan does a good line in humorously flirtatious frothy voice-over for shows about Scottish music, The Beano or Scottish Art. She lacks the gravitas for a serious 60 minute recap of the last six decades of Scotland's modern history. She's too bubbly for sections containing images of 9/11, untimely deaths of political leaders and the destruction of Scottish industry.
The show itself didn't know what it wanted to be. It was all over the place, looked as if it was quickly cobbled together without any real focus. There was no narrative driving the story forward. We went from England winning the World Cup in 1966 then the very next still was of John F Kennedy walking and talking, quite the thing, despite being assassinated three years previously. These continuity issues didn't help the case for the defence, especially the Dutch defence that Archie Gemmill brilliantly (if rather predictably) sliced open. The production didn't help having the Sesame Street approach with dialogue and phrases coming on to the screen. Where we part of a CIA mind games?
You could set your Timex watch to the clichéd key note moments, Stone of Destiny, SNP win for Winnie Ewing, North Sea Oil, Margo MacDonald used to be a big stoater (and still is), 'there'll be no bevvying'
Jimmy Reid, Archie Gemmill's goal - (incredible brilliance, slight hope, but ultimate failure), the miners' strike, the Parliament Building debacle. Boring. Cliched. Old rope. Money For. Next!
There was the sight of Baroness Liddell of Coatdyke popping up with vox pops throughout. I didn't even get the title. Scotland's Smoking Gun? Then it slowly dawned on me. Baroness Liddell of Coatdyke couldn't believe her popularity. She must've known someone on the production team.
She was all chuffed, a veritable know-it-all as she said words and words came on the screen. Then, for some reason, when we got to talking about the Iraq War and the legality of said invasion, she slipped off the radar. Maybe down to the fact her parliamentary voting record shows she voted unequivocally for the Iraq War, that Baroness Liddell not only voted very strongly for the Iraq War, she voted very strongly for no inquiry into the Iraq War, (she also voted very strongly for tuition fees too). Was she the smoking gun? We may never know...
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