AFTER Chancellor O repeatedly refused to rule out a future Tory government raising VAT, you didn't have to be Nostrodamus to know Red Ed would not be able to resist cornering Blue Dave on giving another straight answer to another straight question; following, after all, his "retirement plan" kitchen confessional.

And yet, the chief comrade should also have clocked the PM would have known the straight question was coming and would have a readymade answer.

So, chest puffed out, Ed barked at Dave, asking him to give a straight answer to a straight question; would he rule out a rise in VAT if he won power?

The comrades cheered, expecting the Tory toff to do his slippery worst.

But what was this? The shiny-haired premier declared straight questions did indeed deserve straight answers. "And the answer's Yes."

As socialist eyebrows rose, this time the Tory berserkers whooped with delight; although Chancellor's button eyes looked somewhat bewildered.

Having got an unexpectedly straight answer, the chief comrade rose, Tory hoots ringing in his ears, and snipped: "Well, let me say to him: nobody is going to believe it." Chuckling Conservatives collapsed in complete disbelief.

But having given a straight answer, Flashman decided he now wanted one. Would the Labour chief rule out raising National Insurance; yes or no?

Gulp. "He'll have plenty of time to ask questions after May 7," quipped Ed. The berserkers barracked their displeasure.

With SamCam and the kids in the public gallery for the final PMQs of the Parliament, the PM had another go at Labour's "jobs tax". But answer came there none; only the shaken chief comrade insisting no one believed the nasty Tory government "of the few for the few".

Later, the issue of the Champagne Nationalist was raised(naturally) by a concerned Conservative, to which the PM claimed Alex Salmond had taken the "entire Labour Party hostage" and had now presented the ransom note of higher borrowing, uncontrolled immigration, unfettered welfare, etc, etc.

Then when one Labour MP had the temerity to suggest the PM was, after his kitchen confessional, a lame duck, Blue Dave roared back, saying what was lame was Red Ed seeking to get into Downing St on the Champagne Nationalist's coat-tails.

To mix his metaphors, Flashman declared staring straight at the Labour chief: "Never mind talk of ducks, I'm looking at Alex Salmond's poodle!"

As the Tories berserkers shouted "woof, woof", the Cameron kids giggled away. Let the fun begin.