By DAMIEN LOVE

Even quicker than a credit card company raising your limit without you asking, Christmas is upon us once more. And, as our thoughts turn again to the true meaning of the season, we ask the big, eternal question: is there anything worth watching on the telly?

It's a question that's more pressing than ever this year, given that none of us can actually afford to go out anywhere. In the whirl of the modern world, though, when you have to spend half your life queuing at the post office, it can be hard to find time to sit down and try to make sense of the swirling multi-channel blur and plot a safe path through the slaughter. Never fear. Help is here. Allow me to shove a hand up the metaphorical turkey of the schedules on your behalf, push aside the giblets, and humbly endeavour to pull out a plum or two.

First things first. Without a doubt, the highlight is the now-traditional Doctor Who Christmas special, (Christmas Day, BBC One, 6pm) . Although there might be some doubt because, as is also now traditional, the BBC isn't giving out any full preview copies, so I've not seen much of it.. It looks festive enough, though, as David Tennant's companionless Doctor pitches up in frosty old London town on Christmas Eve 1851, where, as you will know unless you've been living off-planet in recent months, he finds himself confronted by another Doctor (What?!?), played, in full frock coat mode, by David Morrissey.

This other chap seems to have his own sonic screwdriver (What?!?) and Tardis ("What?!?"). So what, indeed? Is he some charlatan imposter? Can he really be a future incarnation of our hero? Or something even stranger? In any event, two Doctors are surely better than one, as they find themselves doing battle in the snow against those hardcore Doctor Who baddies, the Cybermen, who will hopefully prove to be tougher than the last couple of times they've appeared.

Time travelling of a darker nature lies at the heart of Crooked House (Monday to Wednesday, 10.30pm, BBC Four) , a noble attempt, with a steady drip of atmosphere, by League Of Gentlemen gent (and sometime Doctor Who writer) Mark Gatiss to revive the BBC's line in ghost stories for Christmas. Even more than the Beeb's brilliantly spare MR James adaptations of the 1960s and 1970s, though, Gattis seems inspired by the portmanteau horror movies that the Amicus studio used to produce, laying out three vaguely linked, very British tales, all leading up to an ending with a twist.

Lee Ingleby plays a young teacher who has found a weird old door knocker in his garden. He takes it to the local museum, where the curator (Gattis, taking the role that would have once gone to Peter Cushing, with a terrifyingly mangled Scottish accent) explains that it once belonged to a local manor house, now demolished. Long rumoured as a place that attracted evil, the house's owners tended to meet unfortunate ends, as we see in three stories, from the 1780s, the 1920s, and the present...

If such unpleasantness isn't your cup of Advocaat, you might want to scurry for the comfort of Lark Rise To Candleford (Tonight, BBC One, 7.45pm) , the TV equivalent of 12 grannies sitting in rocking chairs beside a log fire, knitting mittens for kittens. Or perhaps the slightly grittier family-friendly fare of Dustbin Baby (Today, BBC One, 3.25pm) , which tells the involving story of 14-year-old April (played by The Golden Compass's Dakota Blue Richards), who sets out to discover where she came from, having been found abandoned in a restaurant dustbin as a baby. It's the latest in the BBC's fruitful run of adaptations from the queen of clear-eyed teen fiction, Dame Jacqueline Wilson.

For the full-on family experience, though, give thanks to Santa (and Nick Park) for Wallace And Gromit: A Matter of Loaf And Death (Christmas Day, BBC One, 8.30pm) , the iconic duo's first TV outing in 13 years. Having converted their home for the purpose, we find W&G making their living as bakers. But someone is murdering bakers by the dozen, and when femme fatale Piella Bakewell appears on the scene to capture Wallace's heart, Gromit smells something rotten cooking. With a hint of nastiness beneath the sugar, Park's Little Britain-style vision is growing increasingly like a Plasticine version of The Ladykillers, but in the month that Oliver Postgate - father of Bagpuss and The Clangers - passed away, it's a heartening reminder that we can still be captivated by the work of quiet men, tinkering with hand-made stuff in sheds.

As ever, the BBC is making by far the biggest effort, but there are scattered signs of life on other channels. For example, Coronation Street (STV) is getting into the spirit with a jolly bout of Yuletide murder, as Scottish Tony tries frantically to cover his tracks. (I'm legally obliged to mention that other soaps are available, including EastEnders, which is as chronically bad as ever, but worth a laugh on Christmas Day for the second - or fourth - coming of Dot's little boy, Nick Cotton, evil pirate. "Alright, Maahhrrrrrrr?"

Elsewhere, there's a cheerful old guy with a big white beard and long red coat - what could be more Christmassy than that? Oh, but wait: he's at the centre of a story about a squabbling family, full of people moaning about the presents they've been given, lying about how much they love each other, and ending in a bloodbath of vanity, futility, madness and death. Exactly - what could be more Christmassy than that?

I am, of course, referring to King Lear, (Christmas Day, 9pm, More4) , Trevor Nunn's unadorned film record of his Royal Shakespeare Company stage production of 2007, with Ian McKellen near the top of his game in the title role. Heartily recommended, it's part of a feast of McKellen's Shakespearean work on the channel, including his excellent 1995 movie adaptation of Richard III (Boxing Day, 9.55pm) , set in a retro-futurist fascist Britain.

Back in the day, of course, finding out what movies were going to be on TV over Christmas was one of the most exciting elements of the season. But, post-DVDs, post-Blockbuster and post-dodgy pirate websites, discovering that the likes of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Pearl (Boxing Day, BBC One, 8.30pm) is on is a little underwhelming. There's still plenty for film buff types to look forward to, though, with a selection box of great movie-related documentaries.

First, Arena: Paul Scofield (Christmas Eve, BBC Two, 10.15pm) , the arts strand's typically thoroughgoing and textured profile of the great British stage and film actor, who died this year, aged 86.

Next, Cecil B DeMille: American Epic (Christmas Day 1.55pm and Boxing Day, 1.20pm, More4) , a suitably sprawling, two-part portrait of the legendary director, fabled for his endless, histrionic historical spectacles. You might not like DeMille's movies, but his story is the story of Hollywood itself, with all the backstage madness that implies. The first part is best, but part two has the stuff about The Ten Commandments and the parting of the Red Sea. Martin Scorsese is among the contributors.

Meanwhile, Scorsese himself would no doubt set his recorder for the repeat of The RKO Story (Saturday, 10.30pm, BBC Four) , the BBC's great, six-part 1987 documentary on the nominally second-rung studio, whose movies today stand up as some of the greatest Hollywood ever produced - not just King Kong and Citizen Kane, but the string of 1940s B-movies that gave birth to film noir, and the timeless horrors of Val Lewton. If you're at all interested in film, don't miss it. It's the only show in town featuring interviews with Robert Mitchum and Fred Astaire.

Elsewhere, Waiting For Hockney (Tuesday, More4, 10pm) , is a real-life story that feels like a movie waiting to happen. This terrific documentary is the tale of Billy Pappas, a working-class guy from Maryland, and an unlikely icon for anyone who has ever clung to an artistic dream in the face of harsh reality. Pappas has devoted eight years to a single drawing of Marilyn Monroe, working to capture the most microscopic details, down to the peach fuzz on her face. He's banking on his maniacal masterpiece making his name - and validating his life - and is on a quest to show it to the great British artist, the one person he thinks might understand. By the end, you'll be right there with him.

Finally, it's the year of the comedy comeback, as three ghosts of Christmas past return. Most importantly, there's a chance to catch up with the now Nana-less Royle Family (Christmas Day, 9.30pm, BBC One) . As with Doctor Who, the BBC is keeping this strictly under wraps, but writers Caroline Aherne, Craig Cash and Phil Mealey have promised that, after the four-hanky weepathon of the last special, things will be less melancholy, and, intriguingly, after years of legend and rumour, we'll finally get to meet Dave's dad.

Closer to hame, two local legends are back in action. Best of all, Stanley Baxter: Now And Then (Christmas Day, STV, 10.30pm) , sees the very great man not only looking back over a selection of classic sketches while receiving props from fans like Rory Bremner, Eddie Izzard and Victoria Wood, but, at 82, cracking out new material, including his latest dragged-up Queen's message. Sir, we salute you.

The return of Rab C Nesbitt (Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm) is, however, a less satisfying affair. A decade on, Rab is still wearing his simmet and still railing at the universe, but off the booze, trying to adjust to life without Wee Burnie and a Govan that now has the BBC Scotland offices in it. Fans will rejoice, but the episode is, frankly, ropier than Rab's vest. Still, it does feature one rather beautiful soliloquy by his old pal Jamesie, as he reflects on the terrorist attack on Glasgow Airport: "It still makes me proud to be Scottish. A man on fire being kicked to death by the friendliest airport staff in the world. If only Jeremy Clarkson had been under the wheels, it would've been the end to a perfect day."

Words of cheer and inspiration for all, I think. Happy holidays.