Appearing on a BBC show near you:
Judy Murray. The first lady of Scottish tennis has mastered the knack of gracing multiple different platforms on the Beeb simultaneously. From Backchat with Jack Whitehall to speculation about Strictly Come Dancing, yesterday it was the turn of Radio 4's Desert Island Discs, where she selected tracks by recording artists as varied as Amy MacDonald, Michael, Buble, The Proclaimers, and The Singing Kettle. So ubiquitous is Ms Murray becoming we fear she may soon be presenting the news. Or the weather. Or appearing on Real Houswives of Stirling County.
Attendance at a Roger Federer press conference is obligatory for those who marvel at his lack of self-awareness. His first-round victory over Paolo Lorenzi brought forth the following: "I was always in the lead. It's easier to play that way. I served well, returned well and I tried to come forward a bit. I could really do everything out there." Indeed, Roger, indeed.
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Those tired of asking Serena Williams if she is tired of world domination now turn their attention to whether she can give relationship advice to others in the locker room, most notably Caroline Wozniacki. In agony aunt mode, Dear Serena talked in generalities. Probably for the best after Serena once said: "Hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it." This is believed to be a reference to Maria Sharapova and her boyfriend Grigor Dimitrov, once a paramour of Serena.
The younger diarist fears he has lost his jacket. This is spectacularly bad timing, considering showers are forecast at Wimbledon in the next few days. Why does it always rain on him? A sock has also gone missing from the championships. Jack Sock, the US youngster, lost to Milos Raonic on Thursday.
Strewth. Nick Krygios, a memorable victor against Richard Gasquest, hails from the sterile, administrative beating heart of Australia which is Canberra. Or does he? "I'm half-Greek and half-Malaysian," he says. So what part exactly is Australian then?
Rummage note. Hysteria setting in. Your sleep-deprived younger diarist was given a quizzical look when he presented his oyster card to the G4S security man.