How are you getting on amid the remorseless plooterings of this Commonwealth kerfuffle?
Even some 150 miles away from Glasgow there are signs above the motorway declaring to all and sundry that if you're 'Going to the Games' then you must 'Plan ahead to avoid delays.'
I wasn't actually going to said Games but daftly thought 150-odd miles was far enough away to plan ahead and avoid a delay as I rumbled up the road. A couple of hours later, here we were stuck in a delay. And as I peered to the heavens in resignation, there was another sign looming above me blaring the words 'Not going to the Games? Plan ahead to avoid delays'.
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So there I was, delayed in a delay that I'd delayed planning for even though I hadn't planned to be involved in any of the delays because I wasn't planning on going to the Games. And then I had to change my plans because of the delay in a delayed attempt to plan a route out of the delay I'd got myself into. Good grief.
Amid all of this huffing and puffing, sporting life muddles on. Bernhard Langer probably doesn't need a vast, illuminated sign imploring him to 'plan ahead'. The auld yin from Anhausen is the very epitome of German efficiency and this well-oiled golfing machine showed his abundant qualities once again at the weekend with a record-busting 13-stroke victory stroll in the Senior Open at Royal Porthcawl.
It has been another quite astonishing campaign for this wiliest of campaigners. In the 14 events he has played on the lucrative, gravy train that is the Champions Tour this season, the 56-year-old is a cumulative 155-under-par.
As soon as he had put the tin lid on his 18-under triumph in the south of Wales on Sunday, the sodden lumps of acclaim were being shoveled over him. Lumped in among the plaudits was the cry that Langer would be worthy of a pick for Paul McGinley's Europe team for the Ryder Cup.
Colin Montgomerie, never one to hold back with his ambitious declarations, got the ball rolling during Open Championship week when he gave Langer - and himself, of course - a glowing reference. "If Langer and I were paired together in the foursomes, we'd feel we could bring a point home for Europe," Monty said. "We'd need to sit out the fourballs though; we'd be knackered. But it is definitely a possibility for a 50-year-old-plus to play and compete."
Tony Jacklin then took on the golden oldies baton and ran with it in the wake of Langer's Senior Open success before Tom Watson, the US Ryder Cup captain, joined in the championing of the senior citizens by stating that he'd be "worth a pick".
Watson knows a thing or two about drafting in the veterans. The last time he was captain back in 1993, he called up 51-year-old Ray Floyd who ended up with a record of three wins and just a single loss during the biennial bout at The Belfry. Floyd will be at Gleneagles this September, as one of Watson's vice-captains. He'll be 72 by then and, along with Watson, who will have turned 65, and 64-year-old Andy North, another right-hand man, the backroom of Team USA will make the Chelsea Pensioners look like the Auchterarder branch of the Boys' Brigade.
McGinley will probably have to recruit Methuselah to compete on that particular age front. Langer would be the next best thing. In this game for all the ages, it is a delightful thought; the 50-something Langer going head-to-head with the 20-somethings like Rickie Fowler or Jordan Spieth in the pendulous, unpredictable format of matchplay golf where you are simply playing against the man not the scorecard.
Langer has seen it all before, with 10 Ryder Cup appearances as a player and another as a victorious captain in 2004. He has experience, he has confidence, he is in form - albeit on the markedly different terrain of the senior circuit - and he has an unquenchable thirst for the cut-and-thrust of competition.
Of course, the reality of the situation means that McGinley is highly unlikely to get swept along on this ground swell of nostalgia. There are bountiful players who have been fighting tooth and nail for months on end to make the qualifying grade or earn one of those three wild card picks. Ian Poulter, Graeme McDowell, Lee Westwood, Francesco Molinari, Miguel Angel Jimenez, Stephen Gallacher; the list goes on.
There is a vast cast of hopefuls waiting in the wings although the likes of Poulter and Westwood in particular, with great Ryder Cup pedigrees, continue to fluff their lines on the global scene and have hardly given McGinley much cause for optimism.
Langer has not missed a cut in 14 events. He's won four times, has two seconds, a pair of thirds and he's as fit as a fiddle. A wild card for this evergreen German is a wonderfully intriguing prospect even if it remains somewhat fanciful.
Then again, you could argue that Watson picking a certain multiple major winner who has barely hit a ball in 2014 and looks as rusty as the hinge on the outhouse door is just as whimsical. We can but dream.