TWITTER gives a voice to those who find it difficult to come out from underneath their maw’s stairs to howl at the moon in public.

Social media is anything but social. Faceless and nameless abusers troll anyone who they have worked out they don’t like for reasons they can’t fully explain. It’s quite remarkable how much vitriol and bigotry the hard of thinking can cram into 140 characters.

The past week has been weird as weird can be for your diarist in more ways than two.

Something you may or may not know is that one Jim Traynor, formerly of this parish of course, runs not only the Rangers PR department but also every newspaper in the country. Sadly for Airdrie’s most (only) famous son, this is not true.

One twitter-er – is that even a word – asked my good self what I thought of the bold Tranzo feeding stories to journalists about the goings-on, or lack of, at Ibrox. I didn’t answer because I’m quite sore that he’s still never given one to me.

So the questioner asked, and remember this isn’t a private online chat, whether I would like to meet him for a coffee to chat about the matter.

That’s what serial killers say. So far I have declined.

Although he was topped by some Celtic fan who enquired whether I was aware that in my match report from Tynecastle “I wrote name "Rangers" thirteen times compared to "Hearts" four? Recount?”

At one point during the counting do you think he felt this was a waste of his life.

But the loony of the week goes to a blogger who didn’t like the cut of one’s jib.

He wrote several thousand words about why he didn’t like me then sent a message to say he wouldn’t be writing about myself. At least for a while.

Who has the time?

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Returning to Hearts’ drubbing of Rangers on Wednesday night and the Jambos hero Jamie Walker, scorer of two goals, was asked after the game how difficult it had been to play alongside so many new players.

Not especially was the reply but getting all their names was a bit more of a problem.

“It has been great. It was there for everyone to see that we needed to get bodies in. The big man (Goncalves) came in tonight and I thought he was tremendous. The big Greek boy came off the bench and was good as well.”

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Congratulations to Peter ‘medical giant’ Crouch on scoring his 100th Premier League goal during the weeks.

The diary has always held a soft spot for the giant goal-grabber, not because we think he’s a good player, but he’s clearly a lad who doesn’t take himself too seriously.

When once asked what he would be were he not a professional footballer, Crouch with admirable honesty replied; “A virgin.”

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Efe Ambrose is at the time of writing this nonsense still a Celtic player.

He was fully expected to sign for Blackburn Rovers on transfer deadline day but that didn’t happen.

We hear big Efe was with his agent but then lost him at the back post while staring into space.

Bless him, as Brendan Rodgers would say.

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Politics doesn’t usually rear its ugly head in this column; however, we couldn’t allow the announcement from Beyoncé that she is expecting twins to pass without comment.

There are now more black people inside the singing sensation than there is in Donald Trump’s cabinet.

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Mark Warburton has had better weeks.

Humped by Hearts, nuked by some newspapers and savaged by supporters. Made antsy by alliteration.

Among all his words, one nugget was almost lost with everything else he said, and that was about Emerson Hyndman.

The midfielder, on-loan from Bournemouth, actually looks like a player and scored a fine equaliser at Tynecastle which followed up his excellent finish at Motherwell last weekend.

His substitution on the hour did not go down well with the travelling support, something which came across loud and clear on the night.

When asked about his substitution, Warburton said: “He is 20 years old, hasn’t played many 90 minutes and on Saturday he played an outstanding 90 minutes. He is a young, precocious talent and Saturday took a lot out of him.

“The pitch out there is so heavy. We’ve got a responsibility to his parent club. We have got to look after their asset.”

As Eddie Howe, the Bournemouth manager, hardly gave the young American a look in, something tells me he wouldn’t have cared had Hyndman played the full match.

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Are Celtic fans obsessed with Rangers?

Yes, is the answer to that one.

On Radio Clyde, there was a ‘beat the pundit quiz’ and Tony a Celtic fan called in to take on former Tic man Mark Wilson.

Question: “Who scored Celtic’s winner against Aberdeen on Wednesday?”

Tony: “Aw naw, I cannae remember. I was at a gig.”

Question: “Who got a double for Hearts on the same night against Rangers?”

“(Immediately) Jamie Walker.”