AS regular readers are now very much aware, the diarist and his colleague are settling into life at Pontins.

The sign above the entry gate cheerily states that this is ‘New Pontins’ which makes us shiver at the thought of what ‘Old Pontins’ was like.

With the golf in mind, one began to think of Old Tom and Young Tom Morris as the last time the wallpaper in the chalet was updated was when Tam junior succeeded his faither as Open champion in 1868.

IT’S a numbers game here at Birkdale. Apart from the birdies, bogeys and numerical abominations on the cairds, there are plenty of figures to rack up off the course.

700 journalists, 30 miles of fibre optic cabling, 30,000 m2 of tenting, 18,000 glasses of champagne, 125,000 bottles of water. The golf writers haven’t made much of a dent in the 12 tonnes of fresh fruit and vegetables, mind you.

AS part of the robust anti-doping procedures, the players at the Open Championship will be subjected to blood-testing in future years.

In the media centre, meanwhile, this scribe has some drouthy colleagues who have consumed so much alcohol down the seasons a routine blood test comes with a head on it while the person taking the sample asks if they'd like ice and a slice.

WITH a Justin Rose, a Toby Tree and an Alfie Plant in the field this week, the Open could be sponsored by the Royal Horticultural Society.

The diarist was delighted to discover, therefore, that Plant’s girlfriend is called Daisy Meadows.