THE scene is the home dressing-room at 4.45pm.

Gordon Strachan hands Scott Brown the captain's armband and a bugle.

"Just blow on this when you have the ball and we will all charge," says Wee Gordy to Broony. "And wipe that pizza aff yer face. Yir the captain of Scotland."

Within an hour, there was a wail from the Tartan Army and the bugle was being prepared for a lament and the black armband threatened to be in commemoration of another national occasion that met expectation with humiliation.

Gibraltar had just scored at Hampden. This is a team that has never scored before in the qualifying campaign. They had to have a committee meeting to decide the goal celebration. Their captain inquired politely of the referee what happened now? Was it their kick-off or Scotland's?

It was now 1-1 and the atmosphere was becoming ever so slightly tetchy. The Tartan Army had turned up for a walk on the park and collectively stood on something deposited by a choleric dug.

At 7pm, of course, Scotland supporters could file out of Hampden with three points won and with Group D magically appearing as a source of warm satisfaction rather than feverish embarrassment.

There may subsequently be a national amnesia over what happened at Hampden yesterday. This can be forgiven for most of what occurred early in the match was surely scripted by William Burroughs in the chemical years.

First Gordon Strachan announced a team line-up that was so offensive it was almost rude. Those who deal in such matters will insist it was a 3-2-4-1 that could slip towards a 1-4-4-1.

It was, in short, a team constructed to break Gibraltar down quickly and surely. There would be forgiveness for this line-up at 4.45pm when Scotland came in for Broony's pizza and pint at 4-1 up. it was less ecstatically received when Gibraltar later complemented 48 seconds of sustained pressure from kick-off with a Joseph Chipolina cross that left David Marshall looking like a silly sausage with the ball coming out to Aaron Payas who could not quite find the time or the technique to score and place Scotland in a position so uncomfortable that it has its own chapter in Fifty Shades of Grey.

This almost obligatory scare was followed by Scotland scoring from a penalty but even then the sigh of relief was followed by a groan of despair. Shaun Maloney had barely stopped receiving pats on the back when Lee Casciaro moved on to a sweet pass from Aaron Pyas and struck the ball surely under Marshall.

This all, of course, conspired to form to the three immutable laws of nature: leaves go brown in autumn, British Summer Time is followed by Glasgow weather that would make an Inuit shiver and Scotland never, ever make anything straightforward.

Strachan's defensive strategy -as substantial as placing a large veil on front of Marshall - suddenly seemed a mite optimistic and an invitation for Mr Shame to come strolling through the door to introduce him to his old acquaintance, the national football squad.

It all ended well, however, because Gibraltar are, well, Gibraltar. They are ranked 54th in Europe because there are not 55 teams. They were well-organised and tidy but so is an actuary's desk and it would not draw against Scotland. Well, it would in the old days but not against Scotland 2015.

The bizarre script was abandoned to follow a more rational storyline. Steven Fletcher, who has not scored since the ball was made round, notched a goal so scruffy it would have been disallowed if their had been a dress code. Wee Shaun plonked in another penalty and Steven Naismith scored smartly after good work from Anya.

All this encouraged Strachan to change his masterplan at half-time. Now that Scotland were winning 4-1 he abandoned his 1-4-4-1 and went to four at the back.

It was the sign that the pragmatist in the Wee Man had returned after being bullied by the romantic before kick-off. The odds of Gibraltar recovering from 1-4 were not conspicuously tight but Strachan rightly decided the points were won and the second half could be conducted without Matt Ritchie playing wide and with Gordon Greer forming a central defensive partnership.

This return to some kind of normality in shape could not, however, dispel the strangeness that pervaded the afternoon and endured into evening.

This was a match that was consistently an oddity. Strachan abandoned a strategy he has embossed on his heart and is never far from his thoughts. Gibraltar, who now have conceded 27 goals in five matches, discovered what it was like to score a goal. Scotland fans, too, could roar in joy six times as the ball smacked the visitors' net.

It was all very strange. It was made all the more unusual when the dust settled as Fletcher, Steven of that ilk was due the match ball for scoring three goals. There was a massed rustling of the record books to discover the last time he had scored a hat trick. The answer, apparently, was when he was playing FIFA 2015.

This is the weakest of jokes but Scotland and Fletcher could afford to smile last night.