It's not a joke - not around Parkhead - but a description of the Morton defence which somehow survived a siege reminiscent of The Alamo.
Scott Taggart, Marc Fitzpatrick, Jonathan Page, Nicolas Caraux and Tomas Peciar do not all speak the same language - French goalkeeper Caraux barely has a word of English - but yesterday they were united by the glow of satisfaction which comes from successfully running a gauntlet. Celtic had 25 attempts on goal in Tuesday's League Cup tie. They had 27 corners. Morton had four and two respectively. And none of that mattered one bit, because thanks to Dougie Imrie's penalty it was Celtic 0, Morton 1.
Sometimes a goalkeeper has one of those nights where he seems to be single-handedly repelling an avalanche. Caraux did not produce one sensational save after another during the most memorable display of his career. It's just that the 22-year-old found himself on the end of everything. When Celtic tried a shot or a header, it came to him. When they crossed into the box - and it felt like there were about 250 crosses by the end of the night - he punched them away time and time and time again. It was as if he'd coated the ball in iron filings and hidden magnets in his gloves.
Peciar and Page, his centre-backs, protected him brilliantly but inevitably it was Caraux who frustrated and denied Celtic the most. His night was a Greenock version of Poland's Jan Tomaszewski versus England, Sunderland's Jim Montgomery versus Leeds United or Gordon Banks against Brazil. It only added to the absurdity of the night to speak with him later and need his team-mate Fouad Bachirou to translate. Caraux's English extends to only a handful of words he can shout at his defenders. "I know 'left shoulder' and 'right shoulder', so they know which side the forward is on. I also know how to shout on them to come back, and to let them know when I am coming for crosses." Somehow this rudimentary communication helped them repel Celtic.
In France, Caraux's friends and family could not quite believe the score and updates being flashed to them on the web. "Everybody was following the game online, so they knew what was going on and within half an hour of the final whistle I was reading their texts and their messages on Twitter and Facebook. They are thrilled for me and the team, and a little bit shocked."
Caraux himself seemed far less surprised. "I was confident I wouldn't lose a goal because the team defended so well. I wasn't counting how many corners we conceded, but it felt like corner after corner and I just made sure I came for them all, or the boys in front of me got their heads to them. It was a huge night for me to play in such a big stadium in front of a big crowd."
Annan Athletic, Falkirk, Dumbarton and Queen of the South have already beaten Morton this season, scoring nine times in the process. In total Allan Moore's side had conceded 14 goals in nine games before Parkhead. How on earth could they deny a team that played AC Milan last midweek and faces Barcelona next Tuesday?
"It just felt like a different game playing against Celtic," explained Caraux. "They were expected to win and were doing all the attacking, so we were able to keep it tight and not take chances. In the other games we have been the team which is expected to win and that can be difficult. At Celtic all we had to do was defend well and try to take a chance if it came along. Thankfully it did come, from the penalty, and we are in the next round."
"Can we win the cup? I don't know, but I hope. We just want to enjoy this victory and then we'll think about the next round when it happens. We have to get our heads focused on the league game on Saturday because we have to start climbing the table."
On Saturday they take on Dundee at Dens Park. Only goal difference is keeping Morton off the bottom of the table. All things considered, what they pulled off at Parkhead was extraordinary in anyone's language.