Exaggeration is the official language of the online community. And if you’re not prone to regular bouts of thumping, thunderous hyperbole then you are the WORST THING EVER!! Sorry, I exaggerated there. But you get the idea.

Everything in this crash, bang, wallop age is now life-changing, tear-jerking or awe-inspiring, whether it’s someone gurgling out a wibbly-wobbly, note-bending rendition of ‘You Raise Me Up’ on X-Factor or a grinning celebrity performing a couple of awkward birls and twirls to shrieking raptures on Strictly Come Dancing.

Upload a cheery photo onto Facebook of yourself successfully erecting a wind-breaker on the sands at the Longniddry Bents and even you will be greeted with the same kind of slack-jawed, gushing reverence that used to be lavished upon Zeus. And Zeus never got a hand-clapping, smiley-face emoji to accompany the adoration.

Here in Masters week, meanwhile, it’s almost got to the point where drooling observers will need to be sedated, such is the level of shivering anticipation and brow-mopping suspense surrounding the 82nd edition of this Augusta showpiece.

If the furore around Tiger Woods wasn’t frenzied enough, the former world No 1 upped the ante at the weekend when he described himself as a “walking miracle”. Funnily enough, that statement came on the same day as the sports editor described the Tuesday column as a “waffling normality”.

By all accounts, this week’s Masters is going to be the best ever as the golfing gods link hands, the stars align, the lightning crackles and everybody is reduced to crawling around on all fours in a pandemonium of worship at the prospect of what they are about to receive.

Tiger is going to do this, Rory is going to do that and Bubba, Dustin, Jordan, Justin, Phil and the rest are going to do a bit of the other. Past players, commentators, experts and pundits have all been trotted out to give predictions, opinions and analysis while the golfing media begins to resemble suckling piglets around a compliant sow as every last drop of preview material is sooked out and splattered across the mediums.

Of course, what will probably happen is that Tiger misses the cut, Rory finishes in a share of 17th and Brian Harman wins the green jacket. Sport, and golf in particular, has a habit of veering away from the script.

In this topsy-turvy game, it’s easy for the main players to fluff their lines and for others to barge their way into centre stage. That’s just the nature of this wonderfully unpredictable and fickle pursuit. As an increasingly excitable world grows ever more hysterical, it’s almost impossible for such occasions to live up to the panting levels of expectation.

Saying that, of course, it’s hard not to get a tingle of excitement about what lies ahead. Watching Ian Poulter channelling that indefatigable Ryder Cup spirit of old and winning an almighty Texas scramble in the Houston Open to secure the final spot in the Masters simply added another captivating chapter to an engrossing narrative that has been played out at the top end of the global scene in recent weeks.

Golf has been firing on all cylinders. At a time when those involved with the game are constantly seeking new, innovative ways to entice fresh audiences, the last few weeks have demonstrated that golf usually needs no more than its marquee players – the most valuable assets – when seeking to engage and inspire.

It’s been eight months since the last men’s major championship and the Masters always comes with that same sense of anticipation, that same sense of spring freshness and possibility and that same sense of, well, sameness.

There will be clips of flowers, panning shots of Amen Corner with gently tweeting birds adding to the hushed veneration and drifting, orchestral music to accompany soft-focus montages of memorable moments while a voice over whispers inspirational quotations about following in the footsteps of legends before the live feed cuts to Larry Mize skittering a 5-iron into the dogwoods.

When it comes to the Masters, familiarity breeds contentment. Let’s keep calm and enjoy it ... whatever happens.