When they stress the importance of “blood” my inner Groucho, the one who wouldn’t want to join that club if those are the members, emerges.
The politics of ethnic purity is a dirty business. It is bizarre at any time, but beyond weird, if you once stop to think about it, in sport. No one cares if their club’s star striker hails from Kazakhstan or Kirkcaldy. Suggest that Scotland might pick a kid whose mother had the poor taste to deliver south of Berwick, however, and it’s Culloden: the Rematch.
Other countries are less picky, with less reason. The French, long accustomed to treating any place where they once stuck a flag as theirs eternally, would have been nothing in inter-national football without the children of their former colonies. The Irish under Jack Charlton were wonderfully creative, shall we say, in uncovering links with the old country, even when it was news to the players in question.
We – and the preposition is offered cautiously – still maintain that being “born and bred” is a big deal. You can’t properly die for the jersey, apparently, unless your ancestors stumbled out of the right bog. Only a mystical connection with granny’s hielan’ tower block enables the full, heroic Braveheart.
Makes all the difference, doesn’t it? Look how the national side have fared lately by sticking with the tribal gene pool. Or rather, don’t look. Proud, pure and posted missing: that would be us. We have enforced all of the eligibility rules save the one that would make us eligible for a major international tournament.
This would be bad enough at the best of times, but it is compounded by an inability to look at the world and notice it has a strange habit of changing. What is a Scot, these days? The SNP, allegedly the resident chauvinists in this backyard, long ago grappled with the question.
If and when independence arrives, says the party, a Scot is anyone who wants to be a Scot and live here. Yet until Fifa decided to revise their eligibility rules, any number of those patriots would have been barred from playing for the country. Yet currently – and this is not a world exclusive – that country could do with the help.
Still we hear the wee, reflexive outcry. D’ye mean, they froth, that just by spending five years in a Scottish school anyone can claim the honour of the blue jersey and fight for the chance to – what’s a good example? – fly to Japan and represent the country?
In my book, five years spent in Scottish education means you have suffered enough, but that’s another story. If you have actually suffered the sort of life that turns people into refugees, babble over “eligibility” is as insulting as it is daft. Immigrants are essential to a country’s vitality, and that includes the vitality of its football.
Granted, rules are required. The game being what it is, identity tourism would become endemic if regulations were lax and the rewards sufficient. We have already seen sundry Africans and South Americans reinventing themselves, shall we say, to improve their selection opportunities.
Five years in a Scottish school, on the other hand, would make anyone as Scottish as they need, or want, to be. I therefore take Celtic absolutely at their word when they say that 14-year-old Islam Feruz, though born in Somalia, is just another Glasgow boy. What else could he possibly be?
Clearly, the choice will fall to individuals. Just as clearly, they may find the chance to play for Scotland is not the greatest honour they could imagine. Chance would be a fine thing, but how many “true” Scots would prefer Burley to Brazil, Italy, or – and here we tread carefully – England, given the right circumstances?
You can see Andrew Driver’s problem, therefore. Ply your trade at Tynecastle, but prefer England for international purposes? Follow up selection for the English Under-21 side by deserting your nurturing homeland yet risk losing any chance of joining a full national team of any description? And how do you like your dog’s abuse done, sir?
Club fans are funny like that. Ask Aiden McGeady, who continues to receive earfuls because his heart (and no doubt his head) caused him to choose Ireland over Scotland. He understands the dilemma: there is no right choice, and no wrong choice either, in these matters.
Driver, say Hearts fans, is nowhere near good enough to deserve Fabio Capello’s attention, and may never be good enough. He just might have a little less difficulty impressing dithering George Burley, however. Would that make him an opportunist, a fake Scot? Who’s asking? Some fantasist wearing his woad on his sleeve?
As for the migrant generation, the children of asylum seekers and new Scots, I can’t wait. Most have been treated appallingly by our British government. I look at cosmopolitan French, Dutch and Irish sides and remember that beggars can’t choose. We’re skint.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article