Well, that was a bit of scunner wasn’t it? And, no we don’t mean Tiger Woods’s late withdrawal from this week’s Safeway Open. We’re talking about the sheer, teeth-grinding inconvenience of the news dribbling out last night with these weekly wafflings about his imminent comeback already carefully crafted with the intricate attention to detail of a stonemason chiselling out a gargoyle into a decorative cornice. He may have won multiple majors, but Woods has clearly never written a bloomin’ column.
Here we were, gulping back a sturdy chalice of claret, while keeping an eye on the swan en croute in the oven and stirring the port and blackberry jus to a gentle simmer, when the phone rings asking for a ruddy re-write. It was back to the cold gruel for supper.
For the rest of the golfing world, meanwhile, there was plenty of food for thought. Most were steeling themselves for the hyperbole, the slack-jawed fervour and the seismic shudderings that, inevitably, would greet Woods’s return to competitive action for the first time in 14 months
Despite a new generation taking charge of the world order and the likes of Rory McIlroy, Jordan Spieth, Jason Day and others providing occasional glimpses of rivalries that can carry the game forward, we are simply not quite ready to say goodbye to Tiger.
Last year’s Safeway Open had 45 media outlets accredited. This week, they had received over 100. Organisers said ticket sales were set to be up by as much as 50 per cent too. Woods remains a major mover and shaker and he ignites interest like no one else - even in withdrawing. It could be one man and his dug over in Napa now, though.
This was going to be another comeback in a long line of comebacks. Now there is yet more uncertainty and more questions as Woods keeps teasing and tormenting all and sundry like a siren on a rocky outcrop luring in a galleon before leaving hope perished on the rocks.
The various surgical pokes and prods inflicted on his ailing frame have added fragility where there was once invincibility and it continues to give the whole will he, won’t he palaver a ghoulish intrigue. If he does come back – and it continues to be a sizeable ‘if’ - then it’s still going to be a bit like going to watch Evel Knievel louping the fountains at Caesars Palace. You just know there could be a hands-over-the-eyes calamity.
Woods, who has also pulled out of the Turkish Airlines Open next month, stated last night that his health was good but his game was “vulnerable” and not ready for the competitive rigours of the PGA Tour. That is a telling concession from a man who would never admit defeat. His previous attempts at a return from injury were hasty, medically unsound and ultimately disastrous. When you are synonymous with greatness, it can be hard to process him in any other way. Vulnerability was never in his vocabulary. It is now.
Woods is a 40-year-old man who hasn’t played a PGA Tour event since August 2015 and has a body that’s got more crumbly bits than the Acropolis. He’s ranked 786th in the world, just one place above Motherwell’s Ross Kellett – yes, we’ll always find a tenuous tartan tinge to global affairs eh? - yet the expectation levels remain quite staggering and, in many ways, unrealistic. Whenever this re-emergence occurs, observers will be demanding the spectacular. Woods would surely settle for the steady.
The other week at the Ryder Cup, we got a glimpse of Tiger the team player even though he wasn’t playing. As an American vice-captain, he offered valuable support and wisdom to those around him, particularly the young ones who had grown up in the inspiring midst of his majesty. Woods wasn’t the centre of attention, rather he was attentive to others. In his pomp, Woods exerted a tyrannical rule over the global game. At Hazeltine, he appeared liberated in this new role.
The Tiger tale has had a few cruel twists in recent years. The career low of 85 at the Memorial, the dodgy chips and the hirplings, the sight of him being carted away prematurely from events in painful wretchedness? The end, it seemed, was nigh but a 14-time major winner shouldn’t be remembered like that.
Perhaps those fickle golfing gods will afford him a new beginning. That time is clearly not now, though.
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