SOMETIMES you get matches like Friday night’s. Occasions where everything you predict comes to pass. Neutrals might have thought that with the sombre atmosphere of Armistice Day, the ghosts of past encounters, Gareth Southgate’s goofiness and England’s penchant for making life needlessly difficult, Scotland might have a game of it.

Not quite. The fact that all of the above – to some degree – did occur couldn’t stop a fairly straightforward thumping of Scotland. It’s the old argument about quality: it matters. John Stones may put it on a plate for you with Cruyff turns and improbable attempts at threading the needle at the edge of his own box, but if there’s nobody there with the ability to punish errors, there’s not much you can do.

The stock reaction in England is that Southgate has “passed his audition” and is on the verge of being appointed national team manager. But what sort of audition was it?

Home wins over Malta and Scotland and a draw in Slovenia. No goals conceded, five scored. What have we learned that we did not know before? That he can take charge of a national side and win at Wembley against opponents ranked 45 and 166 places below England? And that he can emerge with a point from the lair of a team 40 places below? In other words, that he cannot screw up?

Awarding – or not awarding – Southgate the job based on a couple of games is at silly and amateurish. His body of work – with the under-21s and Middlesbrough – is far greater. Equally, after more than three years as an employee of the Football Association, you would have assumed the powers-that-be might have formed an opinion. Southgate, outwardly at least, appears non-committal. He spoke of the England job in the past tense (“I have loved it”) adding that he wants “time to get away and reflect after this fortnight”. He didn’t clarify what he will be reflecting on, but you hope it’s not whether or not he wants the job.

The FA’s stance – not for the first time – is hard to comprehend. English media report that he will be formally appointed after the friendly with Spain on Tuesday. You wonder what new truths the FA hope to glean about him by watching him coach against a severely depleted Spanish side in a match likely to be marked by the usual carousel of substitutions.

And you hope it’s not a case of them simply wanting to be sure to avoid the embarrassment of picking him only to watch him get spanked at home by Spain. That would leave them to endure the inevitable hysterical reaction from quarters of the media. And prove, once again, that the real decision-makers at the FA aren’t the guys in blazers, but rather the folks who write headlines for the back pages. Plus ca change.

THE thing about international football is that it is rarely about football alone. It exists at some strange nexus where history and patriotism meet to fuel expectation. Every moment takes on an outsized significance and yet – unless it occurs during a World Cup or other major tournament – it is quickly forgotten.

Consider the plight of Argentina. Runners-up at the World Cup, runners-up at the last two Copa Americas, ranked No 1 in the world, home to the best player on earth as well as arguably the top centre-forwards in the Premier League and Serie A… it’s not surprising expect- ations are high. But, you would think, too, that fans appreciate that their national side have, more or less, delivered over the past five years.

Yet, following a heavy defeat to Brazil in South American qualifying for the 2018 World Cup, Argentina find themselves not just out of the automatic spots, but out of the play-off places as well. Which, inevitably, led to major public pillory and inquest.

Javier Mascherano and Pablo Zabaleta, who may be the wrong side of 30 but do have nearly 200 caps between them and still play for two unfancied sides like Barcelona and Manchester City, were hammered for some Keystone Cops defending. Lionel Messi wasn’t spared either: not so much for his performance during the game, but for the fact that he hopped a ride to South America from Barcelona with his club-mate Neymar, who happens to be Brazilian. Given that Messi’s loyalty to the national team has been questioned time and again, mainly due to the fact he grew up across the pond (never mind that he is his nation’s all-time leading goalscorer and third all-time in caps) it all felt as familiar as it was self-destructive. Indeed, it’s understandable that – after being on the receiving end of more venom following Argentina’s 2016 Copa America final defeat – Messi briefly retired from international football.

To some degree, this is a Chicken Little act. Yes, only the top five in Conmebol qualifying advance. Argen- tina are sixth right now, and Peru (two points back) and Paraguay (one behind) could leapfrog them on Tuesday if they win their games and Argentina fail to beat Colombia.

But by the same token, Argentina are two points away from third place. And there are seven rounds to go. Perhaps it’s worth remembering that this is the toughest, most gruelling qualification process of all. And there will be plenty of time to worry about the sky falling without questioning effort and patriotism.

FIFA would love it if politics stayed the heck away from football. Most of us would. But it has a pesky way of worming its way back into the public discourse at every turn.

On Tuesday, the United States elected a man who pledged to build a wall on the border with Mexico and slap hefty tariffs on Mexican goods, while describing migrants from south of the border as criminals and rapists. On Friday, the USA hosted Mexico in a World Cup qualifier. A country that rarely considers the political dimension of its team sports – and certainly not in football – sud- denly found itself contending with the extra layers brought on by the election of Donald Trump.

A combination of good fortune, common sense, heightened security and the fact the Venn diagram of Trump supporters and USA fans doesn’t overlap much ensured the match took place without incident. But as the game – and interest in the national side – grows in the US, the impression is that this will be a recurring theme. If a lack of trouble was the good news, the bad news was the US discovered again that they are a notch or two behind Mexico. Jurgen Klinsmann’s decision to play with a back three backfired badly and a late goal from Rafa Marquez (yep, still going at 37) gave Mexico a 2-1 victory. It’s unclear whether Trump cared or even noticed.