By all accounts the attempted salvage operation in the immediate aftermath of his well-documented slither off the wa' was one of complete and utter chaos, on a par with the Keystone Cops trying to rescue a dog that has fallen through the ice on a frozen boating pond.
Sending all the King's horses and a vast legion of his men to the aid of one, fragile anthropomorphic egg, for instance, was a disastrous deployment of resources. Thundering hooves, blazing muskets, clumping military boots?
Old Dumpty had merely suffered a skint knee and was in the process of picking himself up until that well-intentioned, yet spectacularly reckless, mob came rampaging and trampling on to the scene. No wonder they couldn't put him back together again.
In this perilous, up and down world of golf, Michelle Wie endured an equally painful fall. She hit the ground hard but has rebounded with vigour and spirit. Her victory in the LPGA Tour's Lotte Championship in her own backyard of Hawaii at the weekend - her first success for almost four years and her third LPGA title overall - added another soothing layer of balm to the scars and wounds that have accumulated during a career of wildly fluctuating fortunes.
It's easy to forget that Wie is still only 24 but in a women's scene peppered with teen talents like Lexi Thompson and Lydia Ko, she is almost a wizened veteran these days. The sheer volume of experiences she has gone through and the lessons she has learned since she first appeared as a 10-year-old would probably need to be catalogued by the National Library.
Wie was the child prodigy who was going to exert a Tiger Woods-like dominance over the women's game. It didn't quite work out that way, of course.
Wie was very good, very early and was ranked No.3 in the world by the age of 16. Between the ages of 13 and 16, she had played in 12 major championships and had racked up half a dozen top-five finishes, three of them as an amateur. In this fickle pursuit, the gushing adulation of enthusiastic observers swiftly descended into sneering indifference and narrow-eyed cynicism, though. The Wie phenomenon was an overflowing gravy train and everybody, from sponsors to marketing gurus, wanted to dip their bread in its sloshing excesses.
The weird sideshow of Wie competing against the men, a kind of PT Barnum roll-up, roll-up production, was an uncomfortable exercise in exploitation that would eventually develop into a dispiriting corporate circus. It started with the PGA Tour's Sony Open in her native state in 2004 but, after she turned pro the week before her 16th birthday a year later and signed multi-million dollar contracts with Nike and Sony, the bandwagon rumbled into Europe and the Far East.
Under the constant glare of her parents, BJ and Bo, who seemed to orchestrate her every move and apparently went from overprotective guardians to meddling busybodies, Wie's cameo appearances made for cringeworthy viewing. The pressure and the scrutiny was remorseless and did nothing for Wie, or the women's game as a whole.
She was written off and put down even before her career had really been given an opportunity to develop. The fact that she is now enjoying something of a second coming speaks volumes for her drive, determination and desire. Following the maiden major win of 19-year-old Thompson in the recent Kraft Nabisco Championship - Wie was runner-up there - the LPGA Tour hierarchy must be rubbing their hands with relish. With rising teenage stars and a galvanised, rejuvenated Wie in their midst, the circuit has the perfect platform to raise its profile and continue to build a flourishing future.
Closer to home, perhaps another member of golf's bright young brigade has taken note of Wie's road to redemption. It would be pushing it to say that Carly Booth was the Scottish game's first celebrity foetus but, from the tender age of 11, the Perthshire lass has been touted and championed as the next big thing in these parts. Operating with that heavy burden of expectation - particularly when you're trying to follow in the shoes of the remarkable Catriona Matthew - must be like clumping down the fairway with breezeblocks on your feet.
When the 21-year-old notched a brace of rapid-fire victories on the Ladies European Tour in 2012, it seemed Booth had finally achieved lift off. Almost two years on, and she's back on the launch pad. Booth made just three cuts last season and has missed all five so far in 2014. The talent is undoubtedly there but, like Wie, she has to find a way to put herself back together again.
AND ANOTHER THING
There's just no stopping Miguel Angel Jimenez. At 50 years young, the man known as The Mechanic keeps motoring along nicely. He was fourth in the Masters and is now savouring a maiden victory on the Champions Tour after a triumphant debut in the Greater Gwinnet Championship. With Lee Westwood having ended a two-year title drought in Malaysia and Luke Donald shown a timely return to form with a runner-up finish in the RBC Heritage, Paul McGinley, the Europe Ryder Cup captain, surely enjoyed his Easter holiday.