Mourinho and Van Gaal, a not so special relationship

The rationale behind it was that Mourinho spent three seasons as Van Gaal's assistant at Barcelona in the late 1990s, the Dutchman having "inherited" him when he took over from Bobby Robson. Indeed, Van Gaal is described in many media reports as Mourinho "mentor".

Easy, right? Why, it really is, "like father, like son". Both are cocksure managers, blessed with a high opinion of themselves. Both are meticulous planners with an eye for detail. And both are born winners, having won the Champions League as well as league titles in multiple countries.

Problem is, it's all a bit forced. It's tempting to draw these wonderful patriarchal parallels - not least because the pair go out of their way to say nice things about each other in public - but, in fact, if Van Gaal is Mourinho's "dad", then junior has been in a rebellious phase his entire life. Mourinho courts and cultivates the media. Not in a fawning way, but in a way that makes it clear that he understands their role. And, where applicable, he knows how to use them to his advantage.

Obviously, at times, he's fallen out mightily with the press, but, by and large, there's a natural charisma and communicative quality to the way he deals with them. Van Gaal, famously, has been distant and surly in public, to the point that he seems to view them as annoyance. Even in those instances where he has tried to show a human side -like when he returned to Ajax as technical director in 2004 and read a poem he had written himself - it has fallen flat, earning him awkward shrugs and ridicule.

Van Gaal is often described as "brutally honest"; Mourinho is far more subtle and diplomatic. With few exceptions, Mourinho is idolised by fans of his own clubs (until things fall apart, as they did in Madrid) and adored by the bulk of his players. Van Gaal is much more polarising and, in fact, there's a whole laundry list of guys he's worked with who have nothing nice to say about him, from Guus Hiddink to Ronaldo Koeman to Johan Cruyff.

Then - most obviously - there's what you see on the pitch. There's a definitive footprint, a fundamental philosophy that defines these two. One is an idealist, the other is a pragmatist. (And, sure, Van Gaal skewed more results at the World Cup, but what was he supposed to do? When you manage a national team, you can't sign players and you have a finite amount of time to work with them.) It's not about being defensive or attack-minded, it's about whether you prioritise winning or how you play the game. (Mourinho himself has fielded very attacking sides when he felt it was the best way to achieve his goal.)

Both men experienced little success in the early part of their career and, obviously, Van Gaal has a decade-long head start, but the Dutchman's path has been far more up and down than Mourinho's. The Special One's only "bloody nose" was the final year at the Bernabeu - 15 points back, acrimony and poison everywhere - whereas Van Gaal has crashed and burned on multiple occasions: failure to take Holland to the 2002 World Cup, sacked on his return to Barcelona with the side three points above the relegation zone, bounced from Bayern with the side in danger of missing out on the Champions League.

Sure, if it adds to your enjoyment today, feel free to buy into this meme of Louis and Jose as peas in a pod, master and apprentice, father and son. Whatever floats your boat. But the reality is that they're two guys who happened to work together, who learned from each other (because that's what clever people do) and who, in football terms, are radically different people.

For Brendan Rodgers, three-nil down at home and with his team floundering in every area of the pitch, it was manna from heaven. Or, in this case, Mario from heaven. Mario Balotelli's decision to swap shirts at half-time with Pepe turned him into an instant scapegoat and talking point. More so than Liverpool's pitiful first-half display. As Jamie Carragher and others pointed out, it was one of those absurd media reactions. Balotelli didn't seek out Pepe. The Real Madrid defender came to him as they walked off the pitch. The pictures show clearly it was the last thing on Balotelli's mind.

Yes, we know what he should have done. He should have said: "I'm honoured Senor Pepe that you want to swap shirts with me, but in England it's considered very bad form to do so at half-time so I will happily give you my jersey after the game out of sight from the cameras, but I really can't do it now." He didn't do that. Grab your pitchfork, don your hoods and light the bonfire.

Balotelli was poor against Real Madrid - though not as awful as he had been in the previous two games - but Liverpool's issues right now run far deeper. It starts at the back, continues in midfield and culminates up front, where - it's quite obvious - Rodgers has failed to find a system to suit Balotelli's skill set.

Maybe he won't have to because, when Sturridge returns, they can keep playing like last year and everything will be fine. Balotelli can move to the bench and then on to whoever will take him. But the reality is Luis Suarez left and the guys Rodgers signed - Rickie Lambert and Balotelli - are very different types of players.

That suggests he was at least thinking of some alternative way of playing, one that does not involve high pressing and furious runs behind. And the truth is that - in addition to not finding some defensive stability - he has failed to implement that approach.

For a moment, last Thursday night looked like some form of time travel back to the 1980s. Everton fans in Lille skirmishing with local police, amidst accusations of heavy-handed tactics. St Etienne supporters in Milan, setting off fireworks on the subway and bringing the whole system to a halt. Sparta Prague and Slovan Bratislava supporters clashing in the stands and causing their game to be suspended.

The Europa League went retro last week. And not in a good way.