The Elder Diarist's obsession with all things Murray has resulted in what seems a psychotic episode.
Again.
On the 8.53 to Southfields, he was having a doze on his feet, a trick he learned watching Partick Thistle in the 1960s. The voice of Andy Murray began to permeate the sweaty carriage.
Reaching for his medication in his rucksack, the Elder Diarist was comforted to find that his Dictaphone had been switched on and a recent interview was being broadcast to the strangely interested masses.
High jinks in the interview. Wayne Odesnik was pressed strongly over claims he had links to a United States clinic which is the subject of a doping investigation.
The 27-year-old American was banned for two years in 2010 by the International Tennis Federation (ITF) for violating doping rules by possessing human growth hormone.
He denied all claims of links to the Tony Bosch clinic. He also referred a series of questions to his lawyer. Unfortunately, he or she was not in the room.
One of the duties of the press is to link tennis players with football teams. Thus, Rafael Nadal can come off court after a performance of extraordinary brilliance and be asked what he thinks of David Beckham signing for Real Madrid.
Novak Djokovic was thus outed as a Benfica fan by a reporter. There are seven Serbs playing for the Portuguese side, Djokovic was informed. "Seven already now?" said the world No.1 in a tone that suggested he was hardly an ultra at the Stadium of Light.
He was on safer ground when he gave his considered verdict on the beautiful game: "It's the most popular sport in the world."
The Diarists have come up with a game to while away those three seconds when we are not writing about Andy Murray. The idea is to come up with the perfect mixed doubles pairing. The winner so far is Tommy (Haagen) Haas and Alize Cornet.
Incidentally, the press conference of Mr Haas resembled a bedside vigil in an intensive care ward.
He was constantly asked how he felt to be playing at his age, how long could he continue, how did he manage to drag himself back home after practice? Mr Haas is all of 35 years of age.
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