I was disappointed to miss out on selection for the Olympic Hockey Test Event.
I missed the Champions Trophy in Argentina with an injury so thought I might get an opportunity last week, but it didn't happen.
I was really proud of the girls though for doing so well and bringing back the gold. It was strange to be on the other side of the action, but it was good to be at Olympic Park and see the progress that has been made.
The atmosphere in the hockey stadium was really good. Sitting up in the stand you didn't necessarily appreciate how loud it was, but the girls said they were just amazed by the noise and could barely hear each other on the pitch. We all really appreciated the efforts that everyone made to come out and support the team. It made such a big difference.
As a squad we have been decentralised this week, so it's been nice to be home and catch up on all the little things that you don't get a chance to do when you are training full time: paperwork, bills and e-mails, that sort of thing. It's also nice to have time to do some of the more general mummy things like organising the book shelf and toy boxes.
I do find it hard being away from home so much. I miss my family and that can be tough. But the upside is I feel like I lead a bit of a double life. I get to run away for hockey and then come back and have a normal life with my family at home.
I have just picked up my new BMW 1 Series Coupe. A few of the other GB girls have been sponsored by BMW so I thought there was no harm in asking too, and to my surprise they said yes. It is absolutely amazing and I am so thankful to the John Clark dealership in Dundee. It's a huge help with all of the travelling that I do up and down the country. I've never been a car person, but I definitely am now.
Next week the squad is back together at Bisham Abbey and then the final Olympic selection will be announced on the 18th. It's one of those things that you know is coming and you just can't avoid it. But it's also what we signed up for when we started this campaign. There are 28 people in the squad and only 16 will be picked, plus two reserves. So while you know there are going to be 10 or 12 people who miss out, you also know it's taken 28 people to get the squad to where they are now, and collectively all the hard work and training have made that happen.
The good thing about the squad is that any of the 28 people could go out there and do as good a job as the next person, but that also makes it harder for those who miss out. Unfortunately it's the harsh reality of sport that not everyone can make it. It's just about picking the best combination of players that are going to do the best job at the Olympics.
I've been thinking about what happens after the Games for a while. The thought hasn't consumed me, but it has been on my mind. I am only 29 and I don't feel like it's time to stop playing, but I also don't know exactly how that is going to work. I would love to continue through to the 2014 Commonwealth Games and even to try to play on for the next Olympics in Rio, but it would just depend on how the hockey programme is going to work and my job options, either in Scotland or England.
I also need to think about my family and their needs. But I'm not ready to retire, I know that for sure.
My partner works as a hockey coach at the High School of Dundee (he actually took over my job when I was selected for the GB squad) and the school has just built two new hockey pitches for the students. If I did end up coming back to Scotland it would be great if another post opened and we could both work together on a mixed programme, because at the moment it's mainly only girls that play. It's just an idea, but it is definitely something we would both like to do.
It's not easy to get jobs in hockey, certainly ones that allow you to pay your bills, but we are always trying to think of ideas. Perhaps an option is to open some kind of hockey academy. But everything is up in the air right now and I don't want to think too far ahead.
o Investec, the specialist bank and asset manager, supports women's hockey from grass-roots level through to the Great Britain national team. For more information and tickets to the Investec London Cup visit www.investec.co.uk or www.englandhockey.co.uk
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article