For the uninitiated, it can look like 15 men running around a field without any obvious purpose. But each position has a special role...
1 Loosehead prop Strength is the key for any player in the front row, but the loosehead is usually the more mobile of the two props in a team. Aggression, dynamism and raw power are the typical attributes. So, too, is a high pain threshold, as scrummaging is not for the faint-hearted. A withering expression and an imaginative collection of put-downs can also come in useful.
Dream Team Andrew Sheridan (England)
Scotland’s greatest David Sole
2 Hooker These days, the hooker’s most important attribute is to be able to find his lineout jumpers with pinpoint accuracy. However, strength in the scrum is still a vital part of the job. A hooker has a prop on each shoulder -- and, usually, a hell of a lot of chips as well. He’s the kid you wish you hadn’t bullied at school. Any profession that has Brian Moore as its poster boy has to be profoundly suspect.
Dream Team John Smit (South Africa)
Scotland’s greatest Colin Deans
3 Tighthead prop Brute strength and, well, more brute strength. Modern tighthead props might waffle on about expanding their skill sets, but their primary purpose is to be a rock in the very hard place that is the scrum. The tighthead is the cornerstone of the set-piece and the best of them can command eye-watering salaries for their skills. As a breed, they are not renowned for disciplined personal hygiene regimes, but Scotland can boast a couple of suave fellows in Geoff Cross and Euan Murray -- a doctor and a vet respectively.
Dream Team Adam Jones (Wales)
Scotland’s greatest Iain Milne
4 Left lock To an extent, the lock positions are interchangeable, but a balance of attributes is required between the two players who fill those roles in a team. At least one must be a rangy runner, spring-heeled and athletic, and quick about the park. Not a job for the faint-hearted or anyone with a fear of heights. Collecting the ball at the lineout -- the most important function -- a lock’s head can be 12 feet off the ground. Tend to buy their clothes at High and Mighty.
Dream Team Richie Gray (Scotland)
Scotland’s greatest Doddie Weir
5 Right lock You want one of your locks to be the go-to guy when things get tough. A big, brutal, hairy-arsed forward who’s seen it all, done it all, and wiped the blood off with the t-shirt. He doesn’t actually have to be nasty to his marrow, he just has to give that idea to the opposition. Oh, a bit of dexterity in the lineout helps, too.
Dream Team Victor Matfield (South Africa)
Scotland’s greatest Gordon Brown
6 Blindside flanker The unseen hero of many a team. The blindside flanker makes the hardest yards of all, grunting out the inches that can make all the difference in Test rugby. Defends the sneaky little darts down the narrow side by the opposite scrum-half, so a relish for tackling helps. A typical blindside flanker is very tolerant of pain, especially other people’s.
Dream Team Rocky Elsom (Australia)
Scotland’s greatest John Jeffrey
7 Openside flanker The openside is the forward who wants to be a back. When the ball starts moving across the three-quarter line, he runs in support, usually shouting “Me, me, me.” He is also critical at the breakdown, whether securing his own side’s ball or nicking it off the other lot. Needs a good appreciation of where the offside line is at any stage of the game -- so he can stand precisely two yards on the wrong side of it.
Dream Team Richie McCaw (New Zealand)
Scotland’s greatest David Leslie
8 No.8 (obviously) Another one of the glamour positions, although the price of stardom is that the No.8 spends much of his time with his head stuck between the buttocks of two lock forwards. Breaking from the scrum quickly is the essence of what a No.8 does -- although it has to be said that the buttocks of a typical lock forward would make anyone get their skates on. Must be a good carrier of the ball in attack, and also a destructive tackler in defence.
Dream Team Sergio Parisse (Italy)
Scotland’s greatest Jim Telfer
9 Scrum-half The all-action heart of a team, and a role traditionally taken by someone who neither grew up nor fattened out. The scrum-half puts the ball into the scrum and passes it away from the breakdown, roles that allow him plenty of scope for shouting at people much bigger than himself. So it’s a great position for little blokes with a lot of attitude. Funnily enough, Scotland has produced rather a lot of good ones.
Dream Team Mike Phillips (Wales)
Scotland’s greatest Gary Armstrong
10 Fly-half The orchestrator of it all. The fly-half’s decision-making abilities -- or lack thereof -- generally dictate how a team will play. Typically, they occupy a place on the spectrum between swaggering derring-do and conservative caution and cause endless debates among rugby followers. The one thing they all have in common is an expensive range of personal grooming products in their bathroom cabinets.
Dream Team Dan Carter (New Zealand)
Scotland’s greatest John Rutherford
11 Left wing The girliest of the girls who play behind the scrum. As with locks, it’s good to have a balance of attributes between the two wing positions, which means that one of them should be quick, elusive and twinkle-toed on the ball. This combination of skills is very rarely seen in tandem with a steam-hammer tackling technique, but so long as they score more tries than they let in they are generally forgiven that weakness.
Dream Team: Chris Ashton (England)
Scotland’s greatest Billy Steele
12 Inside centre The inside centre’s role has changed down the years. At one time, he was seen as a second fly-half, chosen chiefly for their ball skills, but more and more are being picked for the physical presence they bring. Carrying the ball into the heavy track of an international midfield is no job for the faint-hearted, and nor is trying to stop the other lot as they thunder downfield.
Dream Team: Sonny Bill Williams (New Zealand)
Scotland’s greatest Jim Renwick
13 Outside centre Arguably, the more creative of the two centre positions these days. With defences as well organised as they are now, the ability to break the line is priceless. Peripheral vision and a good pass can also help bring the wingers into the game. Many outside centres have also played at fly-half. Typically spend a lot of their earnings on moisturising products.
Dream Team Jamie Roberts (Wales)
Scotland’s greatest Scott Hastings
14 Right wing If you have a powder-puff winger on one side of the pitch, then you want a barrel-chested bruiser on the other. Over the past few years, wingers have been putting on the pounds at an alarming rate, and these wannabe Jonah Lomus are some of the most sought-after players in the game. With the turning circles of battleships, they may not be the nippiest creatures around, but they can wreak havoc going forward.
Dream Team Cory Jane (New Zealand)
Scotland’s greatest Andy Irvine
15 Full-back The position for those who enjoy their own company. Full-back is the most exposed position on the pitch, but it is also the berth from which the most exciting counter-attacks are launched. A strike-runner with pace, vision and self-confidence will thrive in the position, but he’ll also need a sound tackling technique, a mighty kicking boot and raw courage under the high ball. Which might explain why good ones are so hard to find.
Dream Team Rob Kearney (Ireland)
Scotland’s greatest Gavin Hastings
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