So that's it for another year.

The Six Nations is over and it's time to rise from the armchair, try to remember your kids' names and gradually reintroduce solids to your diet. Time to reflect with bleary-eyed fondness on the highs and the lows, the dramas and the disappointments, the wins and the losses.

Actually, make that just losses. Which brings us to the Robbos. These awards honour the Scotland coach and are being handed out for the first – and possibly last – time. They mark the best of the championship, and the worst. Our jury debated long and hard into the Italian night in a small cafe just off Rome's Piazza Navona, and this is what they came up with:

The Paula Radcliffe Chamber Pot for Imaginative Al Fresco Evacuations is being given to Danny Care, who failed to live up to his surname with a spot of injudicious peeing in an all-too-public part of Leeds. Care claimed that his drinking had been moderate but that he had an unusually small bladder, so he stopped the taxi he was travelling in and let everything go. Inconveniently, his moment of relief was spotted by a couple of Yorkshire Constabulary's finest, who did their public duty and cautioned the England scrum-half for his indiscretion. Widdlegate also brought a stiff reprimand from coach Stuart Lancaster – possibly because Leeds is his home town.

There was stiff competition for the Matt Williams Memorial Personal Grooming Kit for Excellence in the Coaching Arts, but the coveted item will soon find a home in the bathroom cabinet of Stuart Lancaster, the man in charge of England. We knew that Lancaster was a nice bloke – well he did play for Scotland at one time – and we knew that he was a modest and hard-working fellow, but he revealed himself as a strategist of the highest order as he rebuilt shattered England as a rugby force. Lancaster showed a ruthless edge in selection as well. The caretaker is now a shoo-in for taking the job on a permanent basis.

The Neil Kinnock We're Alright! Replica Megaphone for Premature Overconfidence leaves Wales for the first time ever and will take up residence at Murrayfield. At the start of the championship there was a widespread belief that Scotland were shaping up nicely and that they were probably favourites to beat England in the opening game, but the SRU took thing a bit too far when their online store started selling T shirts bearing the logo: 'The Calcutta Cup, Scotland, Winners'. The faux pas came to light just a few days after Scotland coach Andy Robinson had accused England of arrogance. And a few days before England took revenge by beating Scotland 13-6 in Edinburgh.

The Lord Jeffrey Archer Prize for Undeserved Ennoblement goes to Martin Castrogiovanni, the Italy prop who won the man of the match title against Scotland despite being hammered in the scrum by newcomer Jon Welsh and being substituted after 65 minutes. The hirsute Italian's award may have been the most preposterous anointment in Rome since Caligula got his horse elected to the senate.

The Gold-Plated Zola Budd Souvenir Passport Holder will be sent to Stephen Shingler once we figure out where he lives. The centre was born in Wales to a Scottish mother and plays for an Irish team based in England. Last year, he appeared on Welsh television claiming undying allegiance to the land of his birth (we can't say land of his fathers as his dad is reportedly English) so it was something of a surprise when Andy Robinson named him in his Six Nations squad. Cue outrage in the Valleys, as Shingler had already tied himself to Wales by playing for their under-20 side. The IRB upheld the Welsh complaint, and salt was rubbed in the Scots' wounds when Aaron Shingler, Stephen's brother, made his Wales debut against Scotland a few weeks later.

It was a championship of strong team performances rather than individual brilliance, so the Jonny Wilkinson Prize for Bloke Most Like Jonny Wilkinson finds a runaway winner in the shape of Owen Farrell. The 20-year-old looked assured enough playing at centre in his first two Tests, but his all-round excellence and composure became even more apparent when he moved to fly-half for subsequent games. Even more admirably, he did all this under the critical watching eye of father Andy, England's assistant coach.

The Toony Flip, premiered in Paris in 1995, has been in hiding for the best part of 17 years, barring the odd demonstration by Sonny Bill Williams. But the judges decreed that a Robbo for Best Backhanded Offload under pressure should be minted and given to George North for the sublime reverse pass (just after smashing through Fergus McFadden) that gave Jonathan Davies a try against Ireland. However, North has now been told that he most share the accolade with his Scarlets team-mate Ben Morgan, the England (yes, really) No.8 whose deft distribution put a try on a plate for Ben Foden against France.

The General de Gaulle Garlic Press for Most Annoying Use of the Word "Non" has to go to Dave Pearson, the referee slated to take charge of the France-Ireland game on the championship's second weekend. As the clock ticked round towards kick-off time, the teams were ready to go and 80,000 fans were sitting – and, admittedly, shivering – in the Stade de France stands. A few minutes before the start time, Pearson strolled out, poked and prodded the ground a few times and decided the game could not go ahead due to a frozen pitch. Ca va, as they didn't quite say in the aftermath.

I'm happy to take the Robbo for Inexplicable Selection Policies, the Scotland coach's personal gift and the most coveted award of all, for myself. This is my team of the championship: Leigh Halfpenny (Wal); Tommy Bowe (Irl), Jonathan Davies (Wal), Brad Barritt (Eng), Wesley Fofana (Fra); Owen Farrell (Eng), Lee Dickson (Eng); Alex Corbisiero (Eng), Ross Ford (Sco), Adam Jones (Wal), Richie Gray (Sco), Yoann Maestri (Fra), Dan Lydiate (Wal), Ross Rennie (Sco), Sergio Parisse (Ita)

The Muammar Gaddafi Memorial Prize for Decisive but Flawed Leadership goes to Ross Ford, Scotland's zero-from-five captain. Ford clinched it in one extraordinary moment in the first half against Ireland when, having already opted to kick for the corner with two penalties and with Ireland on a yellow card warning for conceding a third, he ordered Greig Laidlaw to take a kick at goal.

The Wilted Shamrock for Man Least Likely to Get the Freedom of Dublin is won by Wayne Barnes, the referee who penalised Ireland flanker Stephen Ferris for a tip tackle on Wales lock Ian Evans in the last minute of the match between the two sides. Leigh Halfpenny kicked the penalty for a 23-21 Wales win, and Irish fury did not diminish when Ferris was fully exonerated by a discipline panel a few days later.

The Golden Leek for the Man Most Likely to get the Freedom of Cardiff is the reward for Courtney Lawes, the England forward who allowed Scott Williams to rip the ball from his grasp and claim the last-minute try that kept the Wales grand slam on track.