No Galloway

to bide away

IT is with some trepidation that the Diary approaches the following

wee story on Mr George Galloway, the Labour MP for Glasgow Hillhead. As

Mr Galloway himself told us, he is ''on a good wee run'' in the matter

of receiving payments from newspapers in out-of-court settlements.

The Sunday Post has just paid out a tidy sum to the bold boy from

Dundee and the Isle of Man Examiner is currently talking turkey on a

small libel.

Now Mr Galloway is faced with taking legal action against Tribune, the

Labour movement's own organ. The offending item was a message in the

personal column which began: ''Lost. One MP, balding. Answers to name

George but also known as Gorgeous. Last heard of in Romania . . .'' It

went on to insinuate that Mr Galloway was something of a stranger to his

Glasgow consituency. George tells the Diary that he has attended five

Labour Party meetings in Hillhead in the last year and holds a surgery

every Saturday morning.

As well as Tribune, the MP has taken action against two English

newspapers, Today and The Guardian, which repeated the claims contained

in the advertisement.

The advertisement offered a reward and included two London telephone

numbers. One turned out to be the Metropolitan Police aliens' unit and

the other the Groucho Club. (There was a story in another English

newspaper about an alleged attempt by Mr Galloway to gain membership of

the Groucho Club, but we won't go into that in case it ends up in the

courts.)

Mr Galloway fears that he is the victim of a sustained dirty-tricks

campaign.

One fact is true. George has spent more time recently in Romania than

even he would have liked. He was in that country last week with a party

of doctors in connection with the Aids clinic he is helping to set up.

When he turned up at Bucharest for the flight to Britain, he

discovered that he had left his passport in his hotel in Constanta in a

distant part of Romania. Member of Parliament or not, he was not allowed

by immigration officials to leave without a passport.

They were equally unmoved by his plea that he wanted home to watch the

Scotland v. Sweden World Cup match. Thus, Gorgeous George had to be

content with another night in Bucharest watching the game on his own, on

satellite TV.

The right stuff

WE repeat, without comment, the following overheard conversation at a

meeting of engineering union shop stewards at Weir's of Cathcart. One of

the comrades commented on the fact that Jimmy Airlie had been elected

unopposed to the Scottish executive post in the AEU. ''Did the left no'

put up a candidate?'' asked a second comrade.

Country life

THE Oban Times, as ever, contained an intriguing message in a recent

personal column: ''To the mistress and the jealous husband, happy

wedding anniversary!'' Being mere city folk, we cannot begin to

speculate on the undercurrents in Oban mores which led to this

insertion. But we thought the paper itself enhanced the whole experience

by placing it beside a slogan which read: ''It pays to advertise in the

Oban Times.''

Team spirit

IT was bad enough that Costa Rica should blag our World Cup place. Now

they have purloined a Scottish hero.

This information comes to us from Dr David Black, a native of Biggar

who is currently in Costa Rica on an overseas aid agriculture project.

Dr Black has been sending back regular reports to his chums in Biggar on

how much the Costa Ricans are enjoying this World Cup.

One of their commentators, obviously a distant relation of Oor Archie,

mentioned that Robert the Bruce would have made an ideal Costa Rica

player because he never gave up against the heaviest odds.

Members of the Costa Rican parliament are no slouches when it comes to

marking the achievement of their team. Within minutes of their boys

going forward to the second stage, the Legislative Assembly passed a

special Bill giving them a tangible reward, according to Dr Black.

The parliament decided to allow every member of the Costa Rican team

to import a new car without paying duty on it -- import duty on vehicles

in Costa Rica is 450% of the basic price.

Suggestions, direct to the SFA please, as to what our boys should

receive for their efforts in Italia 90.

Lang words

PHILISTINE of the Week Award goes to the guest of honour at the

ceremony when the 1990 BP research fellowships were announced at the

Royal Society of Edinburgh this week.

''In a modern industrial society like our own, higher education must

be relevant to the needs of employers,'' he declared.

''Employers are the best qualified, perhaps only people, to say what

is and what is not relevant and of benefit to them and ultimately, to

the country's future competitiveness.''

The speaker was Mr Ian Lang, Minister of State for Industry and

Education. Mr Lang read history at Sidney Sussex College, Cambridge.

Eye on the road

LOOKING for the ideal gift for the psychopath in your life? The

current edition of Toyota Today, the magazine produced by the Japanese

car firm, carries an advert for an item that might fit the bill.

It is the Snooper Radar Detector, an electronic device which warns

motorists of police speed traps. It can pick up radar signals from a

distance of more than two miles and enable your average mad motorist

(perhaps in his Toyota MR2 GT; top speed 137mph) to belt along the

outside lane with impunity.

''And what does peace of mind cost? Just #199.50,'' says the advert.

It depends what you mean by peace of mind.

TO be found in a short series of great stamps of the world is this

specimen from Trinidad and Tobago. Thankfully, we do not have colour

printing facilities on this page.