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Hawk Aye

The trek to Southfields is becoming increasingly draining for the elder diarist so he is grateful for the spiritual support contained in the religious tracts handed out to him on the way.

He was given no fewer of five of these yesterday, leading him to believe that the evangelists could peer into his soul and found it the colour of a coalman's semmit. He now calls for all these good folk to come together and have one religious ceremony. A sort of Saving Service, one supposes.

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Worship of a different kind. Anastasia Mikheeva, a 15-year-old teenage tennis player from Edinburgh, met Andy Murray at the Aorangi practice courts a few days ago and was keen to make an impression. "I asked him a silly question," she said. "So perhaps I have stuck with him!"

The elder diarist walking down to Southfields in the midnight hour is regularly assailed by a buzzing in his ear which is not a side effect of his medication. It is the fleet of motorcycles delivering pizzas to The Queue. But how does that work? "Could I have an Italian crust with sausage and Cajun chicken and cheese with barbecue dip. I am 754th, no sorry, 753rd in the Wimbledon queue.''

The queue was also host to an unusual sight yesterday. An old gent pottered along and set up a trestle table. He then took out a collection of books. Was this a deluded pensioner with a self-published tract? No, it was Rod Laver, Greatest Tennis Player of All Time (sorry Roger).

Maria Sharapova was in predictably testy mood in the wake of her defeat to Angelique Kerber. She did, though, admit her favourite Sugarpova sweet was Quirky, a liquorice concoction with a marshmallow middle and a strawberry flavour. Elder diarist who witnessed the entire crabbit press conference believes she was sooking a soor ploom.

The pressing question among the world's media is what Petra Kvitova does to relax off court. She watches Czech TV series. But which one, Petra, which one?

Rummage note. Younger diarist's enquiries at the bag search area as to whether anything interesting has been unearthed come up empty. "Just lots of bags," said a member of G4S, as if reliving the horrors of Vietnam. Even his pal just made a zipping motion with his fingers in front of his lips. He must have seen a lot of bags with zips.

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