GALLIC shrugs all round.

Over the faltering Wifi in the press room, an inadequate number of work desks, even about the Roger Federer security storm. Ana Ivanovic, whose current squeeze is Bayern midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger, admits she too is powerless to halt the inexorable rise of the selfie. "Well they do ask a lot," the Serb admitted following her first round victory against Yaroslava Shvedova. "Sometimes they even ask me to do it." Still if you don't ask, you don't get. The diarist is considering asking Andy Murray if he wouldn't mind writing his own match report in future.

ACTUALLY sometimes that isn't so far from the truth. One of a bewildering array of press announcements calls for "the journalist Malek Jaziri to report to the interview desk". For those who don't know, Jaziri is actually a Tunisian tennis player, in action yesterday against Andrei Kuznetsov of Russia. I know people talk about asking themselves difficult questions but that is ridiculous.

LIFE among the press pack is never dull. A few of the gang popped out after play yesterday to track down an English-language cinema in which to see big-screen blockbuster Mad Max. I mis-heard and thought the film in question was Mad Mags, the post-apocalyptic tale of a crimelord granny from the Raploch.

JO-Wilfried Tsonga is disappointing all and sundry with a refusal to play to the galleries. Not only is the Frenchman wearing black, he is declining to dance around in his usual fashion after victory. "Is it the boring Jo?" he said. "Yes, it's no longer 'The Addams Family.' It's the Tsonga Family." He then admonished himself for giving such a usable quote.

THE diarists' accommodation for the duration is a hotel called Best Western. He feels this is somewhat of an exaggeration. Still, there are some sights on the Metro each morning. Yesterday there was a fully grown man on roller blades, the day before a pregnant woman on a scooter. Unfortunately Amelie Mauresmo was gone before I was able to say bonjour.

NEWS reaches us of a new tennis tournament, which will reach a conclusion at Kelvingrove in September. It is called the Tweener British Tennis Challenge and is the brainchild of Jordan Gray, a qualified tennis coach and business owner from Glasgow. A sum of £250 is up for grabs for the winners, which is a far cry from the 1.8m Euros on offer here. But it would at least be enough to purchase four large Roland Garros towels.