A purple Teletubby, aka Tinky Winky, collecting for some charity or other. Perhaps it was for children's TV personalities who have fallen on hard times. Anyway, the younger diarist reckons he might have seen his face before at Wimbledon. Maybe it was the year he and his doubles partner La La got knocked out by Charlie and Lola. Or perhaps – before this year's sterling performance from Jamie Baker – he was the British No.2.

Then there are the touts. A virtual army of cockney wide boys has accumulated on the walk up from the tube, and no wonder, considering tickets to see Andy Murray in the men's final are changing hands for £45,000-a-pop. Diarist the younger is contemplating pawning his press pass and joining them there tomorrow.

Viktoria Azarenka isn't exactly on-message when it comes to the creeping commercialism which is undermining the Olympic ideal and despoiling of the previously sacred terrain of the All England club. "I'm actually really excited to see some McDonald's or Coca Cola in the back of the court," she said. "It will be funny."

Kylie Minogue was in the Royal Box yesterday. In the event of any unforeseen rain delays, she could presumably entertain the crowd by miming along to a non-existent backing track.

And there's mair. Tennis films include Stan Smith Goes to Washington, All Billie Jean King's Men (there may be a twist in this), The Margaret Court Jester, Tracey Austin Powers. These come from Andy from Auchterarder, un nez bleu, who has graciously taken time away from his studies. He has been holding a map for the past three months and been heard to mutter: "Where is Annan?"

Rummage note. Excited security staff tell the diary of a new game being played by groups of young women. These packs of feral beasts, sorry, these upper middle-class public schoolgirls, have taken a break from planning a gap year in an organic vegetable farm in Ecuador to roll up to Wimbledon with freebies hidden on them. The game is to meet on the other side of the baggage search and award points for every item that goes undiscovered. One security man remarked: "We get our revenge by dreaming they will all marry Cabinet ministers."